The In Crowd

Bomb Rating: 

This is what happens when too many beautiful people gather in one place and a film is unable to find anywhere to put them.

I'm totally clueless how stuff like this happens, but the psychiatric hospital in this fictional town is filled with models. First we meet Adrien Williams (Lori Heuring), who has some dark secret. Later on, another of the film's buxom beauties ends up there. The guys that come by and slip food through the little slots in the doors look like they walked out of a Calvin Klein ad. This is what happens when too many beautiful people gather in one place and a film is unable to find anywhere to put them. Suddenly every job and every affliction in the world looks good. Who wouldn't want to clean toilets when the woman who washes the floor looks like she just stepped out of a Playboy photo shoot?

When Adrien gets a job at a country club to show she's ready to start a normal life again, it's like she walked into a beautiful people conference. Everyone under 30 looks like they're posing for the cover of "Muscle and Fitness." Of course, since Adrien is only an employee, she can't possibly fit in, but for some reason, Brittany Foster (Susan Ward) seems eager to help her out.

There's a big mystery to Brittany's madness, which is about as hard to deduce as the theme to an hour of "Oprah." What's sad about a film like this is that you can see the wires in the director's brain fraying more with each passing minute. It's hard enough for the story to justify getting all these gorgeous people in the same place. Once the plot actually kicks in, the characters must stand around and explain every single thing they do and why. Toward the end, the director loses the capability to even edit the film properly -- some of the sequences begin look like the ends of two different home videos spliced together.

Not surprisingly, most of the characters are robots -- they serve the plot and nothing else. Adrien's doctor (Daniel Hugh Kelly) sleeps with Brittany, but immediately proclaims the next time he sees her, "It was a mistake." Of course, the only reason he proclaims this is to allow Brittany to bash his head in. Later, Adrien hatches a plan that involves following Brittany into the woods, alone and unarmed. This allows Brittany to hit her with a shovel and chase her all over the place. When you follow a possible homicidal maniac into the woods, it's a good safety tip to bring a cattle prod, a bazooka or the shin bone of a large mammal -- just in case.

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