Into the Blue

Bomb Rating: 

I would have retitled this film "Who's Afraid of Josh Brolin?" Certainly, I'm not. Just because some pretty boy is sporting a goatee and long, semi-scraggly hair doesn't mean he's threatening. There's a scene where he's standing next to a black cop and you realize that for all six feet of him, Brolin probably doesn't weigh more than a buck fifty. David Spade could probably kick his ass.

Actually, Brolin's lack of menace is the least of this film's concerns. My main question is this: Does calling somebody "bro" definitely mean that the person is your brother? Paul Walker has been trying to pull off that white negro schtick in everything from "Varsity Blues" to "The Fast and the Furious." So as Jared in "Into the Blue," I'm not sure if his addressing of Bryce (Scott Caan) as "bro" actually means they're somehow related.

Regardless of whether or not Bryce is actually Jared's brother, Jared should have figured out long ago how to extricate himself from this guy's bad influence. Given Bryce's inability to make good decisions, it's just a tad hard to believe that he actually earns money as a lawyer. Unfortunately, he appears to be that quintessential cinematic familial relation problem: the younger brother who's always getting into trouble because he's a complete idiot, but who always gets bailed out by some gullible family member.

When Bryce goes diving with Jared and Sam (Jessica Alba) and Bryce's new fling, Amanda (Ashley Scott), they find a sunken ship along with a crashed airplane containing enough cocaine to supply George W. Bush's early adulthood. Jared wants to do the right thing, buy greedy Bryce gets them involved with drug-runners, leading to the deaths of countless people. Despite it all, Jared and Bryce are still buds in the film's final scene. At what point do you just push the guy off the boat?

Director John Stockwell has taken ass filming to a whole new level here, having apparently typecast himself with "Blue Crush." His asscrackcam shots are indeed a thing of wonder. Shame is apparently not one of his stronger characteristics as he just about shoves a camera up Ashley Scott's sphincter as she's sunning herself on a boat.

This is a ridiculous nothing of a movie that should have gone straight to video.

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