Invincible Caption Contest : Mr. Cranky Rates the Movies : Invincible Caption Contest

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Invincible Caption Contest

Winner: Hayzeus

"Sorry I'm late coach. Dead hooker. Funny story actually..."

Get credit for the funniest caption!
New Photos on Friday. Winners posted on Wednesday
Winner's Page

Post a caption entry in the forum below

Captions:

Holy shit. Hayzeus
- The Riddler called, he wants his winning caption back. Mr_Nonsense
"Well you can tell by the way I use my walk, I'm a woman's man..." Pr0cession
"Honestly, you're sure you can't tell that I'm wearing a thong?" nickumoh
"Sorry I used our last timeout coach, but I lost my lucky scrunchy..." nickumoh
"Hey coach, I lost my groin cup, can I use your toupee?" Cannon_Fodder
Sadly, green slacks were all the rage that year. yvr73
Hey Mark, what do you say we skip the premier of this dog and go whoring? 55Chevy
T.O went to great lengths trying to piss off his coaches especially when... Form-VII
- ...he showed us in white face and pretended he couldn't catch or run fast Form-VII
- Up not us...d'oh! Form-VII
"Coach, pst...I smoked some of the field." Form-VII
- Har! foxjedi
Good 'uns for the week foxjedi
- Decent list, some other notables... MR_MUCUS
I heard about you and Pierce Brosnon, Coach. ben243243
Hey coach, the funky bunch and I will play "drop the soap" later. You in? foxjedi
Is halftime comming up soon? nickumoh
- ...my newborn's in the parking lot, and I forgot to crack the window. nickumoh
- ...the valet I work for wants me to return the Jag. nickumoh
- ...I've got a paper route to finish. nickumoh
- ...I wanna get gas before OPEC raises the price to 70 cents a gallon! Mr_Nonsense
- ...I promised to buy Mean Joe Greene a coke. Mr_Nonsense
- ...I just realized I put my jock strap on backwards. Mr_Nonsense
- ...I think have "Montezuma's Revenge", if you know what I mean rainman76x
- ...I have to call my bookie and ask if I'm supposed to throw this game. MR_MUCUS
- ...I've been holding this fart in for an hour. MR_MUCUS
"These cleats are going to ruin my petticure." nickumoh
"Is it OK if I just get paid in pats on the ass?" nickumoh
"Sorry, but I'm contractually obligated to wear my cup outside my uniform." nickumoh
Coach, something's wrong with my jersey. My last name isn't "He Hate Me." nickumoh
"Is it ok if we lose, coach? I've got a lot of money riding on this game." nickumoh
I don't feel good coach. My pregame punchbowl of paella had 2 much cilantro nickumoh
Lesson One, Rookie: Hands off your package when the camera is on you. Coaster
"Stop crying, coach. I was kidding about you looking fat in that outfit" rainman76x
"Uh coach, do you like pina colatas and getting caught in the rain?" rainman76x
Later, coach. I gotta see a flea-flicka bout a safety... know what I mean? michael3b
"Another Lucky Charms joke and your Fruity Pebbles get a Banana Nut Crunch" fellow_consumer
- ^brilliant^ Pr0cession
So, are we gonna play with 11 guys or what? michael3b
"and then I thought... who doesn't want to hit Greg Kinnear with a helmet?" angus
- winner!!!! the_demon
"I don't feel so good coach. Stay away from that sushi vending machine." nickumoh
Wait, in the true-life story that this was based on.... bar1scorpio
Back when men were men, and "wardrobe malfunction" meant a... ben243243
- lineman's ass was showing. ben243243
"Don't be fooled; this is just another Gatorade commercial." Mr_Nonsense
"Kneel, kneel before Papale!!" Cannon_Fodder
Hey Coach you know that I can go "both ways" right?....oh and I suck cock. EUROPACL
Later this year, Dick Vermeil will play Greg Kinnear in Talk Soup:The Movie Scumby
Go ahead and kick me--I'm wearing a cup. Scumby
Did you hear Cranky revamped his web site? Scumby
"26 years later, XFL would come along and change nothing." MR_MUCUS
The first problem is that you don't score home runs in this game! dlew919
Why Ricky Martin was kicked off the football team. Scumby
"Are you thinking what I'm thinking?" Scumby
Rudy..Rudy..Rudy,, yvr73
Hey, you're no Fran Tarkenton yvr73
"Hey buddy, your shoelace is untied." Cannon_Fodder
"The Eagles selected TO's replacement through a beer trivia contest." Dano
The Philly dance squad didn't do much to boost morale.. michael3b
NFL Europe took off after David Hasselhoff became a head coach. Scumby
The game could not begin until the pregame staring contest completed. Scumby
You hum that "Fly Like An Eagle" song one more time and you're on jock.... foxjedi
- strap duty until that cows come home. I crap you not. foxjedi
The squinting contest would go on for days. foxjedi
Did you slip me that Viagra? Thank goodness for the clip board. foxjedi
You sent me theTinky Winky doll...Is there somethin you want to tell me? foxjedi
"Vince, do ever get that 'not-so-fresh feeling'?" MR_MUCUS
- Winner! Winner, it's all over. foxjedi
Coach: "What was that the 'cocky sonvabitch play'?" MR_MUCUS
- What was that, the 'cocky sonvabitch play'?" MR_MUCUS
"None of the helmets fit? Son, I told you to stop taking the 'roids." rainman76x
That dramatic run up the museum steps was nice, but the game's almost over. nickumoh
Brokeback Quarter-back. Cannon_Fodder
Philadelphia is the city of brotherly love. Scumby
If you want to be my tight end, you can't be worrying about safety. Scumby
We finally found some stunt doubles for you....in the Pop Warner league. OscarTamerz
You won't need the Diggler prop, just wear a regulation cup from now on. OscarTamerz
Invincible but not unmincible. Cannon_Fodder
Wahlbergs secondrole as a wide receiver after auditioning for Calvin Klein OscarTamerz
Hey rookie, can you introduce me to roller girl? 55Chevy
Hey rookie, want to guess where this white belt was last night? 55Chevy
Hey rookie, wear a jock strap next time before you hike the ball 55Chevy
Honest Coach, I did not piss in that water bottle 55Chevy
"Put me in coach, I'm ready to play (clap, clap, clap, clap) today" rainman76x
"FYI, we're being replaced by Jamie Foxx and Denzel Washington in the DVD" rainman76x
"You, Me & Tight Capris" MR_MUCUS
Here have some green M&M's. www.piranhakeeper.com
You had me at "thrust squat". Scumby
- Err, "squat thrust" Scumby
Hey, coach, have you seen Captain Kangaroo lately? www.piranhakeeper.com
Sorry, I'm late. I was waxing my helmet. www.piranhakeeper.com
Michael Flatley reveals his new Lord of the Dance playbook to the Eagles Drunky
Booger tights fellow_consumer
"And......cue the WHO track..." MR_MUCUS
"John Madden before my WHALE BURGERS & MUCUS-HEAD LAGER DIET" MR_MUCUS
Taking fantasy football a step too far. JPBuckner
- Early favorite nickumoh
"Filming wasn't going well for the Paris Hilton bio-pic." sonofthedummy
"So I said 'Big hair and skin-tight pants can be very manly!'" sonofthedummy
That's the worst case of helmet hair I've ever seen. JPBuckner
I'm not a receiver, but I did stay at a Holiday Inn Express last night. JPBuckner
Proof that guys can share hair gel and not be gay...Ok, maybe not. foxjedi
- Just let your soul glo! ben243243
Elwin! I must congratualte you on the smashing party. Bree to die for! foxjedi
Simon the Phag, meet Vince the Runt convenor
My extra head here's got some brain issues. Hence, the helmet. michael3b
I know you gotta dress in team colors but coach, Green Polyster slacks.... pissygoblin
The fear of stray balls lead both men to keep their groins covered. Cannon_Fodder
- ^^^This is the only entry that's even remotely amusing or clever Mr_Honky
Sorry I'm late coach. Dead hooker. Funny story actually... Hayzeus
- ^I like this one nickumoh
If you want to make this team start sucking!! whysoitenley
Their raunchy rendition of "I'm a Little Teapot" had the sidelines rolling. ben243243
"Uh, coach, cutting the team to 15 players probably wasn't the best idea" rainman76x
Acting nude in front of a green screen was taking CGI a little too far rainman76x
It was a cold november evening in 1975, and... TMundo
- ...coach Wiggins decided to call up his second string quarterback... TMundo
- ...Marky-Mark, along with his Funky Bunch... TMundo
- ..it was a decision that would send good vibrations throughout the stadium. TMundo
"Coach, how 'bout I do my "good vibrations" touchdown dance? TMundo
Coach: 'No, my hair isn't 'artificial turf', either." Mr_Nonsense
Something's wrong... TMundo
- ...the philly fans aren't beating the crap out of each other. TMundo
"Unfortunately his wookie sidekick didn't make the team." Mr_Nonsense
Look at those side burns! Ughh!... TMundo
- ...Jonny Unitis, now there's a man... TMundo
- ...with a haircut you could set your watch to. TMundo
Apparently, NFL games are played at high school stadiums in this universe rainman76x
"Bob Crane, I'm Dirk Diggler. Let's hit the showers and go get some poon." HomeSkillet
"I'm not sure coach, but I think we're on the wrong side of the field" rainman76x
Even Marky Mark couldn't help the Eagles fill the stands gamerarocks
And for that moment, there were only two people in the stadium. nickumoh
"Since we're in Philly, how about a little 'Brotherly Love?'" nickumoh
- I thought of that one earlier, but never worked it out. Mr_Nonsense
"Thanks coach, but you didn't have to spitshine my cup." nickumoh
"Morning, Coach. I fucked your wife last night." Nuke_Mecca
Make this play and I'll toss your salad. Junk_Yard_Dog
Indefensibly Bad Captions: Mr_Nonsense
- "I'm not gonna fall for that 'your shoelaces are untied' trick again." Mr_Nonsense
- In unison "Didn't you play that f-a-g in that movie!" Mr_Nonsense
- "We're having a party after the game, no cheerleaders, if you get me." Mr_Nonsense
- You didn't make the team, but I just saved a bundle by switcing to Geico. Mr_Nonsense
- "You want some extra green? Just suck it outa my pants." fellow_consumer
- "Coach, I can't believe you wore those shoes with those pants!" MR_MUCUS
- "He was the only male prostitute in town who was into passing." Mr_Nonsense
"Hey, call me T.O." nickumoh
- "I don't do anything unless I've consulted with my agent" nickumoh
- "Is this a bad time to discuss contract renegotiations?" nickumoh
5 dollars to see it 10 dollars for me to jerk it. CNYSkinFan
Ah, the 1970s, back when white folks were still allowed to play sports. ben243243
In the 70's, Coach Dick Vermiel's idea to have the practice squad... ben243243
- double as cheerleaders was controversional as it was groundbreaking. ben243243
Such is their excitement before games, both players and coaches often... ben243243
- ...have to tastefully conceal erections. ben243243
Friendly non-gay butt pat in 5...4...3...2...1... ben243243
I don't mean to talk soup, but you ought to focus on the plays more, Coach. Mr_Nonsense
"Proof summer's almost done, another cliched sports movie." Mr_Nonsense
"You're still dangerous...you can be my tight end any time!" Mr_Nonsense
Another big crowd at the Meadowlands. Throwing_Muses
"I'm wearing green & white cause I'm on the field. What's your excuse?" Throwing_Muses
Wahlberg and Kinnear together, a 2 for 1 B-Movie Event! Mr_Nonsense
Marky and the Jets. Throwing_Muses
"I know you think you are invincible, but..." Mr_Nonsense
- "...could you please stop singing that Pat Benetar song?" Mr_Nonsense
"The Riddler called, Coach; he wants his pants back." Mr_Nonsense
- ^winner^ Pr0cession
Zaphod never would get permission for a second helmet. angus
Dirk Diggler in "The Gridiron Grind" M_H
Marky Mark never quite mastered flipping the bird. Cannon_Fodder
Start of the Irish grid-iron league. Cannon_Fodder

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