The Iron Giant
Let's play Mad Libs! Make a story by filling in the blanks with either:
1. Hollywood version 1
2. Hollywood version 2
3. Mr. Cranky's version
Or fill in your very own!
Set in _____________ [(1) 1982 (2) the 1950's (3) the deep, dark recesses of my mind] this film is about a young boy who is constantly ______________ [(1) picked on by his older brother (2) made fun of at school (3) masturbating in the closet]. While walking out into _______________ [(1) his backyard (2) the forest (3) the highway] the boy discovers ________________ [(1) a googly-eyed extra-terrestrial (2) an iron giant (3) a talking blob of alien feces]. After feeding the creature _______________ [(1) Reeses Pieces (2) metal (3) kittens], and convincing __________________ [(1) his cute baby sister (2) the local beatnik (3) a suspicious man with a rash] to help him hide the creature in _________________ [(1) the closet (2) the junk yard (3) his pants], he and the creature becomes fast friends and participate in mutually-enjoyable activities like _________________ [(1) riding a bicycle together (2) swimming (3) scaring the crap out of old people].
Naturally, his single mother ____________________ [(1) doesn't notice (2) doesn't believe him (3) is too drunk to care] while the young boy educates the creature about Earth's ______________ [(1) peculiar habits (2) language (3) defensive weaknesses]. Meanwhile, the creature's landing on Earth prompts the government to send out ___________________ [(1) an investigation team (2) a single overzealous agent (3) Mulder and Scully] who naturally believe that the creature is __________________ [(1) an interesting specimen to be studied (2) a threat to Earth's security (3) a tasty treat]. This results in a climactic confrontation between the young boy and his antagonists whereby the creature _____________________ [(1) goes back to space (2) saves the day (3) deflowers all the female virgins).
Are you an animator? Can you get the likes of Jennifer Aniston, Christopher McDonald, Harry Connick, Jr., Cloris Leachman, John Mahoney and M. Emmet Walsh to do voices? Or are you a puppeteer who has designed a peculiar creature who kids might believe is from outer space? If so, please fill in the blanks above and send a five minute short of your work along with your story outline to:
Warner Bros. Pictures
4000 Warner Blvd.
Burbank, CA 91522-0001
As we are always in search of new ideas that are complete rip-offs of old ideas, inquiries are welcome.
To spread the word about this The Iron Giant review on Twitter.To get instant updates of Mr. Cranky reviews, subscribe to our RSS feed.