Iron Monkey

Bomb Rating: 

Don't touch this monkey.

This movie was made in 1993. It's not new. The only reason it's being released is because the director, Yuen Woo Ping, did the martial arts choreography for "The Matrix" and "Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon."

Reviewing this film presents a particular problem for me, since I saw the thing about three years ago. I can only assume the studio took the original, did some new dubbing, and then filled it with conventional music, thereby ruining whatever natural atmosphere it once had.

Retained, however, is the now-familiar shtick where guys attached to wires fly around kicking and punching people like orangutans on PCP. From what I remember, the title character, Iron Monkey (Rongguang Yu) is sort of like a Chinese Robin Hood -- he takes from the rich and gives to the poor. This proves especially effective where he lives because all the officials are corrupt. This is also known as socialism, which makes Robin Hood and Iron Monkey evil socialists, and everybody knows what we do to socialists -- we make fun of their ancestors and mock their God, just like we do with all the groups we don't like.

The truly evil character of the movie turns out to be a monk who knows some really studly kung fu forms like "Crapping Donkey" or "Frowning Lemur" that utterly befuddle Iron Monkey and this other marital arts fighter who shows up. Eventually they all fight while jumping around on the end of wooden poles. If it sounds stupid, it is. Don't touch this monkey.

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