I Still Know What Your Breasts Did Last Summer

Bomb Rating: 

It's been a year since Julie James (Jennifer Love Hewitt) and herbreasts (themselves) endured the murder of her friends at the hands of the hook-wielding Ben Willis (Muse Watson), who was taking his revenge because Julie, her breasts and her boyfriend, Ray (Freddie Prinze, Jr.), ran him over with their car the previous summer.

Now Julie and her breasts have gone off to a Boston college while Ray stays back home and their relationship starts coming apart. Fortunately, Julie's best friend (her breasts are equivocal), Karla (Brandy), has just won a trip to the Bahamas. Along for the ride are Karla's boyfriend, Tyrell (Mekhi Phifer) and Julie and her breast's classmate, Will Benson (Matthew Settle). So, Julie, her breasts, Karla, Tyrell and Will all go off for an island vacation only to find themselves trapped by Ben Willis and his menacing hook.

Look at the advertisements or the poster for this film and you instantly know what it's about. Jennifer Love Hewitt's breasts take up as much space as her head while taking up about 50% more space than Brandy's head (memo to Brandy: fire your agent). Mekhi Phifer's head is probably good for, at best, two of Jennifer's nipples.

The creative linchpin for this film is scary, abrupt music: Every time a character opens a door or looks the wrong way, the sound engineer, without warning, blasts the volume to well past the point of distortion. It's kind of like if you're standing on the curb looking one way and a bus coming the other way blasts its horn at you. You don't expect it and it's really loud. As far as suspense goes, that's about all the film has to offer.

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Average: 2.5 (2 votes)

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