Jeepers Creepers

Bomb Rating: 

The writer/director of this film, Victor Salva, is a convicted child molester. I guess just about anything is forgiven in Hollywood unless you happen to diddle Michael Eisner's kids by mistake.

According to the Internet Movie Database (http://us.imdb.com/Name?Salva,+Victor), the writer/director of this film, Victor Salva, is a convicted child molester. I seem to recall this being something of an issue when another of his films, "Powder," was released. I guess just about anything is forgiven in Hollywood unless you happen to diddle Michael Eisner's kids by mistake.

A rather large portion of "Jeepers Creepers" involves Trish (Gina Philips) and her brother Darryl (Justin Long) driving in a car and talking. That's right, everyone's favorite cinematic achievement: the insanely long, two heads in the frame, car conversation. Eventually, the two nearly get run off the road by some maniac in an old truck. Then, they see the same maniac apparently dumping bodies down a tube next to an old church. Like complete idiots, Trish and Darryl investigate the tube, Darryl falls down it, and does discover hundreds of bodies at the bottom.

It turns out that the tube is connected to the basement of the church. It also turns out that the guy dumping the bodies is some kind of supernatural demon. This raises several important questions that are basically impossible to answer because this is one of those completely stupid horror films that assumes it's okay to defy common sense because common sense just doesn't matter when people are being slaughtered.

Here are the important questions: 1) If the tube leads to the basement of the church, why is this supernatural demon dumping the bodies into a tube on the outside of the church, out in the open, where he can be seen, instead of carrying the bodies down to the basement where nobody will see him? 2) Why is this supernatural demon driving an old truck really fast and trying to run people off the road, thus drawing attention to himself and the dead bodies in the back of the truck? Why not pick up a Subaru Forester or something and tint the windows?

Essentially, the point in the story when the maniac sprouts wings and turns into this supernatural being is the point in the story where Salva runs out of ideas (Salva apparently has about forty-five minutes' worth of ideas). Give Salva credit though -- he's gone from molesting children to molesting whole audiences. He's moving up in the world.

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