The Juror

Bomb Rating: 

"The Juror" has a host of surprises. Unfortunately, they're all comical.

This is the first movie that's a product of the post-O.J. mentality. It must have spent months on some studio executive's shelf because it features a thin Alec Baldwin and an odd-looking Demi Moore. Also, if a movie with two major stars like that is even halfway good, a studio with half a brain sure won't release it in February. If I were a studio executive and I had seen this film a year ago I would have said, "Twelve jurors acquitting a mob boss who ordered a guy to be murdered? We can't release a movie like that unless something weird happens, like Frank Gifford killing Kathy Lee or maybe some other football player killing his wife. I just hope it's Kathy Lee."

Amazingly, "The Juror" has a host of surprises. Unfortunately, they're all comical. Director Brian Gibson and producer Irwin Winkler (creator of the "beat 'em over the head with your morals" genre like "The Net" and "Guilty by Suspicion") imply that we're going to witness some kind of courtroom drama and instead deliver an amalgamation of "12 Angry Men," "Death Wish" and "Romancing the Stone."

The basic plot of this movie is that if Demi doesn't get her fellow jurors to acquit Alec's mob boss then Alec will torture her son -- perhaps by making him imagine all the Baldwin brothers together in the same movie. Lonely guys should note that although this film does not offer the sight of Demi's breasts (the upcoming "Striptease" will base its whole ad campaign on it), you do get to see her barf up some food while kneeling next to a Cadillac, which is worth $6.50 in my book.

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