07/12/00: You've got to be kidding --

Posted By: Lil_Round_Top


what is your fondest memory as a kid?

God -- there are a bunch. Probably vacations with all my aunts, uncles and cousins to Maine.

what was the worst accident you ever got into when you were a kid?

I stepped out of my father's International Scout into a dark garage and put my 6 year old foot on my little brother's tricycle. I skidded across the garage and smashed my forehead against the back of the lawnmower. Five stitches in the forehead and it scared the shit out of me.

what did you want to be when you grew up?

It changed almost weekly. A newspaper reporter, a pro football player.

are you that now?

Let me check. . . .nope, but I am damn good lookin'.

why/why not?

I was a reporter briefly, but I just wasn't dedicated enough to become a serious journalist. Plus, I started thinking about becoming a lawyer, which I am.

what kind of kid were you?
(bully/nerd/mischevious/daredevil/ quite type/etc...)

I was a lonely kid. One of the smartest in my class, also one of the biggest. Most of the "smart kids" were a little intimidated by my size and my insistance on playing every sport available. Most of the jocks gave me a hard time about being so smart. The result was that almost everybody thought I'd rather be hanging out with someone else, and I didn't hang out with anybody.

what would you tell the adult self if you were to go forward in time to the present as a kid?

I'd expect that the kid me would say "If you don't start acting like you've got a little faith in yourself, everything I'm going through is for nothing. Get on the ball, you're an adult."

what would your adult self tell the kid if you were to go back in time to visit yourself?

One thing: "They're more afraid of you than you are of them. Even if you don't act on that knowledge, remember it."

what was your least favorite vegetable?

Zuccini

your most favorite food?

Cheeseburger, probably.

your favorite toy?

God -- I don't know -- Really. I guess I'd have to say the various bicycles I had as a kid; I used to LOVE to "go ride bikes"

how did you discover about the birds and the bees?

You know, I just kind of figured it out -- from friends, from HBO, from older kids on the block; by the time my dad got around to discussing the issue with me I already understood a fair amount of it.

when did you stop believeing in the easter bunny/santa clause/tooth fairy/leprechans/the thing in the closet? (you do realize they aren't real, right? except the thing in the closet. it's still there. it just moved under your bed.)

I was six or seven when my Dad bought us an Atari 2600 for Christmas. He stayed up all night, playing Pong in the basement. I could hear the bleeping, and the next day we got an Atari from Santa -- It wasn't a long logical leap for me to conclude that Dad = Santa.


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