Kill Bill

Bomb Rating: 

Quentin Tarantino should consider taking Economics 101. He'd learn there's a reason the martial arts DVDs sit unwanted in the bargain bin at Blockbuster like one-legged orphans. There's a reason the clerk's main selling point for "Eight Diagram Pole Fighter" is that "you can always use the DVD as a coaster."

The irony? Tarantino was that clerk! Fast-forward 20 years and he's made his very own markdown candidate, "Kill Bill: Volume 1." Even worse, he wrote a script so lengthy that ripples were actually felt in the attention span of Michael Cimino. With "Volume 2" due out next year, we'll get not one, but two films of blood-gushing entertainment, and two opportunities to give Miramax our hard-earned $8.50 so the Weinsteins can supersize their Happy Meals.

The Bride (Uma Thurman) is an assassin who tries to leave her employer, Bill (David Carradine), and is left for dead by her former co-workers. When she emerges from a coma (and discovers she's been groped more than a Schwarzenegger personal assistant), one thing is on her mind: revenge. First up: Vernita Green (Vivica A. Fox). Second up: O-Ren Ishi (Lucy Liu). You know The Bride is pissed because she wants to take out Lucy Liu more than the financiers of "Charlie's Angels 2" do.

Revenge includes knife fights, sword fights, decapitations, martial arts and enough spurting blood to fill the gaping holes in Thurman and Ethan Hawke's separation agreement. There certainly are some swift kicks in "Kill Bill," most of which hit the audience right between the eyes.

To spread the word about this Kill Bill review on Twitter.

To get instant updates of Mr. Cranky reviews, subscribe to our RSS feed.
1 Comment

Like This Kill Bill Review? Vote it Up.


Rate This Movie:

Other Cranky Content You Might Enjoy

  • Even among Quentin Tarantino's fans, whose fawning stops just short of licking his buttocks in public, the response to splitting "Kill Bill" into two volumes released six months apart was met with the

  • No, this is not the Jean Claude Van Damme video game movie. This "Street Fighter" is the re-released martial arts film that hasn't been seen in the United States since its initial release in 1974.

  • When I was about four years old I would always dream of myself in films.

    For argument's sake, let's just say that in one of these films my brother and I play lunatic murderers who are trying to get


zulfie's picture

Seriously, how can ANYONE speak poorly of a movie in which appears...

Gogo Yubari


Tarantino's only Mortal Cinematic Sin is that Gogo... (sniffle, sniffle) Went to heaven.  Her and her pleated skirt.

Comment viewing options

Select your preferred way to display the comments and click "Save settings" to activate your changes.