bleah





The Killers


Mr. Cranky's rating:
1 Bomb


This Ernest Hemingway story has been remade several times. What people don't understand is this: If the story was any good, it would never have been remade because it would have been right the first time.



Also known as "Ernest Hemingway's: The Killers," this two-disc DVD set from Criterion is being called "one of the best DVDs of the year" by critics around the country, which just goes to show you how quickly most DVD critics would perform some illegal sexual act if you offered them a free DVD.

"The Killers" is actually two movies: the 1946 Robert Siodmak version and the 1964 Don Siegel version. The former is a film noir. The latter is considered the first made-for-television film. The first stars many people I've never heard of, but introduces Burt Lancaster and Ava Gardner to filmgoers. The second stars Lee Marvin. The common elements in both are that some guy gets shot and then some other guy wants to know why the guy who got shot didn't run, but just accepted his fate. Both investigations lead to the discovery of a love triangle and a robbery.

This Ernest Hemingway story has been remade several times. What people don't understand is this: If the story was any good, it would never have been remade because it would have been right the first time. This is why Shakespeare is so overrated. Everybody keeps remaking his stuff because it was never right in the first place.

Was it really that bad?
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    This is one of those DVD sets that, once you've finished going through every single thing on it, you look up at the clock and realize that it's five years later. This is why you know that anybody who actually tells you this is something you should own in a particularly thorough way is a loser with no life. So, I'm not going to do that. I have a life.

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