Killing Me Softly

Bomb Rating: 

If I'm not mistaken, Heather Graham achieved her romantic glow in this film by sticking a vibrator in her panties and setting it to "nirvana". Shortly after Alice (Heather Graham) meets Adam (Joseph Fiennes), at a crosswalk no less, it's off to his place for some "I'm sorry, I didn't get your name" sex. This happens in spite of the fact that Alice is already living with some guy. Fortunately, we learn later in the film that her boyfriend deserves to be cheated on because he likes to watch soccer.

Director Kaige Chen has this thing looking like something straight out of a Harlequin romance, making sure to emphasize the dramatic quality of the lovemaking between Fiennes and Graham with plenty of sappy music. Unfortunately for Alice, shortly after lots of wild sex and a quick marriage (which seems to take place in the span of about two days), she starts having her doubts about Adam.

Alice starts receiving suspicious letters, then suspicious phone calls. Naturally, all this makes her suspicious (Chen provides suspicious-sounding music to help). Seems Adam isn't such a nice guy after all. Or maybe he is.

I don't know if I'm the only one, but who is this Joseph Fiennes guy and why do his only two movie roles consist of frolicking with a naked Gwyenth Paltrow and frolicking with a naked Heather Graham. Bastard! I challenge Joseph to accept and succeed in a non-frolicking role.

To spread the word about this Killing Me Softly review on Twitter.

To get instant updates of Mr. Cranky reviews, subscribe to our RSS feed.

Like This Killing Me Softly Review? Vote it Up.


Rate This Movie:

Other Cranky Content You Might Enjoy

  • In the first five minutes of the new "Austin Powers" film, Mike Myers probably pays for the movie's entire production cost with four well-placed advertisements.

  • This movie makes it fairly obvious that the filmmakers doubt "a love of Shakespearean theater" is enough to draw people into the theaters.

  • Special guest reviewer: Mr. Smiley!

    Mr. Smiley's rating:
    If I had a third thumb, it'd be up too!