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Scene Two - Friday morning
DivaB is driving down Spice World Boulevard in her new Jaguar; she turns onto Tigger Lane. “Hmmm, Skilly lives here, and she drives a piece of junk. I bet she’d like to see my new Jag,” she smiles malevolently. She turns into Skilly’s driveway and sashays up the walk past Skilly’s junker.
“Oh, Skilly dear, come on out. I’ve got something I’d love to rub your face in, I mean, show you.” She rings the doorbell, “No answer, I know she’s here though.”
Since the door is unlocked, DivaB makes her way into the house, stopping to sneer at what is obviously Target furniture, or at best, Rooms to Go. Her spike heels keep getting entwined in the olive shag carpet blanketing the house, making the going slow.
“Skilly?” She peeks into the bedroom. Skilly is laying on the bed, an amazing shade of blue. Skilly that is, not the bed. The bed, Diva B notes with dismay, has only 150 thread count sheets. Then she realizes Skilly is not only a ghastly shade of blue, but she’s not breathing.
Screaming, DivaB runs out of the bedroom, tripping over a phone cord on the way. Once safely outside, she dials 911 on her gold plated cell phone.
About half an hour later, an ambulance arrives. The attendants, XMan and RITT try to revive Skilly. “Pffft, she just needs summore SKITTLES!!!! SKITTLES maikes everything better.” But not even Skittles can help Skilly now. Xman phones for the police.
Another half hour later, Superintendent Coaster pulls up in his old, beat up Peugeot. He shuffles out of his car followed by his basset hound, Slater. Immediately Slater runs off behind the bushes. “Where are you going, there, Slater, old boy? What’s in those bushes?”
Coaster pulls aside the bushes to reveal the bassett attempting to er, um, well, with this little piece of peach colored fluff.
A shriek is heard coming from the porch. “Get that filthy beast off my little Bubbles!”
“Oh, Ma’am, I’m sorry, I didn’t see you there, Ma’am. Is this your -- what IS this, Ma’am?”
“It’s my prize winning snotpoodle, Bubbles, and if your dog has harmed her in any way,” she leaves the threat hanging, and scoops up the pile of fluff. “Eeek, one of the jewels is missing from her collar! You’ll pay for this!”
“Yes, Ma’am, I’m sure I will. Please fill out a claim form with the department.”
After questioning her briefly as to her relationship with Skilly, and her purpose for being there, Superintendent Coaster dismisses DivaB and gets back into his old Peugeot to drive to headquarters.
“Hey old Slater, good boy,” Coaster hands his dog a treat to make up for the frustration the dog is now feeling after being so cruelly interrupted.
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