The Lady and the Tramp

Bomb Rating: 

Eventually, I got bored with the DVD and spent the rest of the evening licking my own genitals and crapping in the neighbor's yard.

If you've read my "Eight Below" review, you already know how much I like dogs and dog owners, so it should be no surprise that it took about 3.4 seconds for me to begin pulling my hair out watching this ridiculous animated film about talking dogs, their relationship to their owners, and their relationship to each other.

For the first third of the film, we follow Lady, who's the apple of her owners' eye until the owners get some alone time, do the nasty and produce a child, which relegates Lady to second fiddle in the family. It's during this time that she meets Tramp, who explains to Lady what's going to happen as the baby becomes the focus of attention.

As the movie is called "Lady and the Tramp," situations arise that bring the two together, despite the fact that they are from different social classes. This is where the film goes wrong. Everyone knows that high-class bitches like Lady would never stoop to sleeping with a low class cur like Tramp, no matter how much charisma he had. Okay, perhaps she would sleep with him once as an experiment, to see what it was like, but actually settling down with him would be out of the question. Being the wonderful world of Disney, this naturally happens anyway and they have puppies. The girls look like Lady and the boy looks like Tramp -- in what is obviously a genetic freak show.

There's a 52-minute "Making Of" documentary on the second disc of this two-disc set and it seems to focus (I watched like three minutes) on how this movie is a representation of the idyllic town Walt grew up in after moving from Chicago. Turns out Walt was into the "idyllic." Who knew? Eventually, I got bored with the DVD and spent the rest of the evening licking my own genitals and crapping in the neighbor's yard.

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