Lake Placid
Mr. Cranky's rating:
Yes, the thing in the lake is not just a bad-tempered log, but in fact a huge crocodile. From there, it's more or less like "Jaws."
All you really need to know about this film is that it was written by David E. Kelley, creator of Ally McBeal, husband of Michelle Pfeiffer. This guy savors anorexic women like Jerry Springer savors small Southern towns.Remember that the screen really does add ten pounds, and the sight of Bridget Fonda will make you wonder if estimating her actual weight would require Stephen Hawking to conceive a formula involving the nominal mass of neutrinos. Henry probably still weighs more than she does. Bridget plays Kelly Scott, an -ologist of some sort from New York who investigates the possibility of a prehistoric monster in a lake that's not actually called Lake Placid, but is placid nonetheless.
There she hooks up with the local sheriff, Hank Keogh (Brendan Gleeson), game Warden Jack Wells (Bill Pullman) and crocodile hunter Hector Cyr (Oliver Platt). Brendan Gleeson's accent could have used some polish or looping -- I kept expecting him to break out in a rendition of "Moll Dubh A' Ghleanna." And Hector is some super-rich guy who travels the world looking to swim with the crocs. Since when did the rich people start naming their kids Hector?
Yes, the thing in the lake is not just a bad-tempered log, but in fact a huge crocodile. From there, it's more or less like "Jaws" with all kinds of cute David E. Kelley-style interchanges in place of any actual "suspense." His main source of humor is an old woman (Betty White) who lives on the lake and starts calling people "cocksucker." Having thus expressed "Hey, look! This isn't television!" Kelley's now free to return to the realm of the precious neo-Yuppie sitcom -- a medium to which he's far better suited.
Was it really that bad?
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Messages:
Public Apology to Jessalyn Leyra Karen_G
Lake Placid: My review power_critic
I Have A Guilty Conscience (I Watched It) scanner-brainpopper
Lake Placid (Killjoy)
Destroyed? (Technomage)
This insult of a movie... (Omega2120)
I got topsies (Peekatchyoo)
Lake Placid (hawkeye)
That's right, I'm so pathetic I have to claim pseudo-bottomises... (Bickle)
platts deputy? (talus)
... (Cockroach)
What a croc?????? (Over_Burden_Movie_Fan)
won questun bout dhis movie!!!!!!! (Howard_S_Rosenburg_)
Funny about Bridget Fonda (Zorro)
Veruca-I seem to just miss you in the forums all the time. (Lancer)
evRE1 READ! (Smitty_Marine)
Veruca? <nt> (Lancer)
So...anyone planning on seeing INSPECTOR GADGET? (Beast)
Lake Placid (crowdog)
WORST movie of the year so far? My pick-8 MM. (Lancer)
My review of LAKE PLACID (Beast)
Is it just me...? (LAJay)
Swearing Old Ladies (Maniac-Cop)
Only three bombs? (Captain_Smith)
GOOOOOOOO GATORZ! GATORZ RULE!!!!!!!!! (CreepFreakLoser)
I have finally found a religion that does not try to control my life. (grundle)
review-Offspring concert (Masterless)
Ratio of Italian lira to dollars (Beast)
I'm going to see LP today... (Beast)
What's your favorite Bill Pullman movie? (Drew_Atreides)
I'm back... (muppet_hitmen)
Lyric Quiz, Week 2. Join in evRE1!!!! (Smitty_Marine)
BICKLE'S QUOTE QUIZ FOR HEP CATS (Bickle)
Betty White calls people cocksuckers (Nicky)
This Movie Looks Stupid, But... (CryptoSicko)
I'm rooting for the alligator (NT) (Junk_Yard_Dog)
My apology to Fierce Molly – she does have a conscience. (CreepFreakLoser)
The growing list of Crankylanders who have shut off communication from CFL (CreepFreakLoser)
Just one question, CFL...... (Throwing_Muses)
Well, that was a surprise. (Fierce_Molly)
Re: Irritated Posters (-sOc-)
CFL... (Beast)
sOc, Beast and TM (CreepFreakLoser)
My apologies, Beast .. (-sOc-)
Simulpost, CFL .. (-sOc-)
SoC... (Beast)
The Dead are... (Wulfgar010)
That was a pretty gay attack, CFL. (Biggles)
Florida State (Robert_C_Holk)
I'm a chick who LIKES CFL, and HATES FSU. (Maidenfin)
Two Things (Michelle718)
Well, this is a shocking development (CreepFreakLoser)
Like I went totally valley girl in post # 5; Michelle... (CreepFreakLoser)
I apologize Michelle .. (-sOc-)
CFL (Robert_C_Holk)
whoa, whoa, whoa... (Emerald)
I respect you CFL. (Namagomi)
Aw fuck! CFL's beating up on the idiot noles! (redundant) (Biggles)
Upon reading the apology again... (Fierce_Molly)
Do you ever shut up? (lentil)
No, no, no, no, no! (The_Redundant_One)
Biggles, don't take my name in vain! *nt* (The_Redundant_One)
CFL (Michelle718)
One question for lentil: (CreepFreakLoser)
Hey the Fantastic Four must stick together.. (Drew_Atreides)
CFL (Fierce_Molly)
CFL... (Bulworth)
CFL (The_Redundant_One)
CFL (Robert_C_Holk)
Well, golly gee.. (Emerald)
As long as we're talking Florida football.. (X-MAN)
X man (Robert_C_Holk)
CFL... (Critico)
Soc... (Critico)
North until you smell it, west until you step in it, right Holk? (Biggles)
Critico (-sOc-)
Biggles (Robert_C_Holk)
We nuts need to stick together!!! (Captain_Smith)
Holk (Biggles)
Gentlemen, PLEASE. Let's just decide this one the football field. (CreepFreakLoser)
CFL (Robert_C_Holk)
Geez... all we've been through, and all I get is a one-sentence mention... (Nick-The-Knife)
Steve Spurrier is THE DEVIL INCARNATE (Maidenfin)
Sorry. (Maidenfin)
Hey I didn't get a response.. (Emerald)
For Christ SAKE CFL (Arrogant_Basturd)
Arrogant_Basturd (Critico)
You're quite welcome young man (Arrogant_Basturd)
And A_B is an expert on cesspools (Junk_Yard_Dog)
Arrogant_Basterd (Critico)
I meant basturd not basterd- (Critico)
Don't be afraid little one (Arrogant_Basturd)
arrogant_loser... (mendo)
Stay out of this mento (Arrogant_Basturd)
Hey mendo, speaking of unoriginal trolls, (Biggles)
Good Lord, Biggles! (CreepFreakLoser)
Has anyone heard from Darth Molly lately? (Badtz_Maru)
Molly's at the beach... (mendo)
Molly's a bitch? (Arrogant_Basturd)
Run and hide, little mendo... (Fierce_Molly)
Uh oh. The politicians in my city are doing some very un-libertarian things (grundle)
Stadiums are a depressing business (Zorro)
Grundle, it's not just un-libertarian, it's . . (Hairhead)
Yeah Grundle... (Nicky)
You don't have to be a libertarian to think those policies are bogus. (Richard_B_Bernstein)
Richard... (grundle)
Richard part 2... (grundle)
Richard part 3... (grundle)
Richard final part (grundle)
Here in Denver Metroplex (Junk_Yard_Dog)
The biggest victims are blacks, immigrants, other minorities, etc... (grundle)
And the sad part is..... (Robert_C_Holk)
JYD... (grundle)
I love LA and the way they did it. (0b1knob)
Columbus tried to get taxpayer funding for stadiums and arenas. (Nicky)
grundle (Masterless)
If you build it... (Bort)
Masterless and Bort... (grundle)
Grundle... (Earth_First)
you know what the government should do with the 2 billion? (Masterless)
Re: Winona's tits (mendo)
Mendo, you should take a trip to Japan (Bickle)
Re: Winona's tits... hey Bickle... (mendo)
Back to the original subject. (Richard_B_Bernstein)
Ha ha (Arrogant_Basturd)
Ah, yes... (Wulfgar010)
Having fantasies... (Arrogant_Basturd)
Wulfgar, just because you're a sub-moron, (Biggles)
I have something to say about internet porn... (grundle)
Richard... (grundle)
grundle... (mendo)
Biggletto... (Wulfgar010)
Awww, wulfgarrish is trolling again. (Biggles)
mendo and Wulfgar... (grundle)
This is some kind of trick, isn't it Wulfgar? (Arrogant_Basturd)
various things (Richard_B_Bernstein)
Look, GIRLS... (Wulfgar010)
Things. (T-p)
Things never changing? (Richard_B_Bernstein)
Actually (T-p)
Um,......X Files? (Baron)
secondies goes here <nt> (-sOc-)
asdf (Carlo)
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