07/18/1999: Is it just me...?

Posted By: LAJay


Is it just me, or has some time warp taken place. Last thing I knew, it was 1999. Know it seems as though we are again living in the late seventies. You know, that famous post-"Jaws" era which produced such timeless classics as "Orca: The Killer Whale", "Alligator", "Blood Beach", and "Pirahna II: The Flying Killers" (The movie that almost killed James Cameron's career).

Of course, as such storylines have long since become old hat to the accultured nineties audience, modern filmakers need no longer bother with trifles like "suspense" and "atmosphere". They instead make the wise decision to entirely reveal their fishy monsters in the advertisements. Now these films are left with only a hefty quotient of stomach churning gore to sustain themselves, which rules out the possibility of someone like myself, a viewer of actual "horror" films, going to see them.

I mean, what happened here? Were the scripts for "Lake Placid" and "Deep Blue Sea" drafted twenty years ago, after the screenwriters had seen what happened to all the other Peter Benchley rip-offs? Did the studios place them, along with their directors, in cryogenic freeze until the biggest blockbuster of the day and it's hot new Jewish director had been long forgotten? Ah, I bet that's it! I've figured it out! The jig is up, you copycatting hacks, you!

I renew my objection to the transformation of this summer's pitiful box office fare into mindless summer blockbusters following the underachievement of "Star Wars".


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