Laws of Attraction

Bomb Rating: 

Just how many "man and woman who hate each other initially but have experiences together that lead them to see the light in 120 minutes or less" movies do we need in this world?

Is there a genre that's more dead than the romantic comedy? If "Laws of Attraction" is any evidence, the answer is no. I mean, just how many "man and woman who hate each other initially but have experiences together that lead them to see the light in 120 minutes or less" movies do we need in this world? This is another movie that doesn't like women very much and that's evidenced by the fact that of the two successful people who form the power couple in the film, Audrey Miller (Julianne Moore) is the one with the problems. What is this anyway, 1950? At the opening of the film Audrey is all indignant at her mother's (Frances Fisher) assertion that she's lonely. Of course, she denies it. And of course, she's really lonely.

Audrey is one of New York's best divorce attorneys, which is supposed to be the type of profession that makes one immediately think, "Oh, this person knows all the pitfalls of marriage, gets to see relationships wrecked every day, so there's no way she'll ever fall in love." Instead, since this is a movie, we just wait around for her to fall for the first doofus who walks on screen. The doofus turns out to be another divorce attorney, Daniel Rafferty (Pierce Brosnan).

Audrey and Daniel face off in court, have their battles and then acquire two annoying clients: Musician Thorne Jamison (Michael Sheen) and his wife, Serena (Parker Posey). At this point, because Thorne owns a castle in Ireland, Audrey and Daniel fly off to Ireland (separately, I might add), and the film decides it wants to be some other film for about 20 minutes during which Audrey and Daniel accidentally get married.

I was perplexed at the casting of Fisher, who's supposed to be 56 in the movie, as Julianne Moore's mom. I happen to know that Julianne Moore is 43. I found this small age difference between mother and daughter to be rather disturbing. What was more disturbing, however, was the fact that somebody apparently told Parker Posey to scream her lines, which is like listening to a cat try to climb up a chalkboard.

The more I watched this movie, the more I wanted to run from the theater. If there were any laws of attraction in this movie, they didn't work.

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