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1) How will the new President die?
i) Has a fatal stroke from laughing so hard while being sworn-in.
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2) Why didn't Reagan die?
d) What do you mean he didn't die? He was clearly a prime example of the walking dead.
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3) How long will it be before the President meets his end?
e) Before the first lady has finished assessing the White House's closet space.
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4) If the astrological theories about this are true, another President won't be doomed like this one for another 600 years.
e) Astrology is bullshit, it's the curse that's killing these guys.
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