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(PS I liked the Secret Service disclaimer -- can't be too careful nowadays, those guys don't have the greatest sense of humor)
1) How will the new President die?
i) The President will be shot by a "crazed loner" carrying a well-worn copy of BODY COUNT. (Guess you have to be a basement dweller to appreciate that one.)
2) Why didn't Reagan die?
e) Clause 5 of Section III of Reagan's pact with Satan specifically ensures that Reagan _not_ meet his end at the hands of occult forces.
3) How long will it be before the President meets his end?
e) Before the first lady has finished assessing the White House's closet space.
4) If the astrological theories about this are true, another President won't be doomed like this one for another 600 years.
f) Astrological theories suck!
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