The Little Mermaid

Bomb Rating: 

This film is perverted. Did anybody else notice that when the evil Ursula (Pat Carroll) gives Ariel (Jodi Benson) legs and sends her up to the surface, Ariel doesn't have any pants? She's naked from the waist down. This is why the animators at Disney don't show you Ariel's bottom half, because she's flashing beaver to anyone that can see her. No wonder Prince Eric (Christopher DanielBarnes) wants some of what she's got. Ariel's milkshake brings the boys to the yard because there's no whip cream on top.

How convenient too that Prince Eric's castle is located on the water. This is completely fucked up. Does anybody know of even one example in history of a Prince who had a castle on the beach? Either Prince Eric is just stupid or he's just some kind of faux prince and Ariel ought to have the sense to move on. If Eric were a real prince, then he's an idiot because he's built his castle (or his father built it) in a perfect location for it to be attacked. Anybody with a fleet of ships and a beef with Prince Eric will just take him and his castle right out.

Like most Disney animated films, this is largely about a young woman with no mother who's looking to get laid. She sees Eric and she's pretty much ready to stab her father, King Triton (Kenneth Mars) in the back, renounce her race, and become human. What about a Disney film about a hot, young thing who decides marriage is for idiots and she's going to remain single her entire life?

Like virtually every animated film made now, this one has lots of singing animals. Seems to me that's what animation is all about these days: singing animals. Singing animals in the ocean, singing animals in the zoo, singing animals in the forest. Please Disney, while you're ordering up your next serving of singing animals, order me up a fucking break.

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Rate This Movie:

Average: 2.7 (6 votes)

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Geez, even more net spam!

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What spam?

Rajah's picture

me thinks you're seeing things

It WAS there

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Nice to see admins taking care of biz.

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