Love Actually

Bomb Rating: 

If happiness is wanting to jump off the nearest bridge, Richard Curtis's movie made me the happiest man alive.

The title of this film is short for "Love Actually Is All Around Us." Had I not known this, I would have assumed that the title was short for "Love Actually Drags All Around Us."

This is because director Richard ("Four Weddings and a Funeral") Curtis isn't satisfied spewing his optimistic bilge via the romantic pinings of only one couple: This time he's got eight couples. His message is that no matter who you are and no matter where you look, love is waiting for you. Hell, it's almost enough to make disappointed Cubs fans step away from the noose.

This would be fantastic for Prozac-crazed America were it actually true. Sarah (Laura Linney) pines for a guy at work, but is psychologically paralyzed from taking care of her psychotic brother. Harry (Alan Rickman) begins to indulge a fantasy for a co-worker, jeopardizing his marriage to Karen (Emma Thompson). David (Hugh Grant), the British Prime Minister, fires one of his staff, Natalie (Martine McCutcheon), so he can date her. And get this: The President of the United States is played by Billy Bob Thornton!

It's bad enough Arnold Schwarzenegger is Governor of California, but now somebody is suggesting Billy Bob Thornton as President? What's next? Courtney Love as first lady? If happiness is wanting to jump off the nearest bridge, Richard Curtis's movie made me the happiest man alive.

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