Love and Basketball

Bomb Rating: 

What kind of title is that? Okay, so it's about love and basketball, but it's not like you'd title "U-571" "Claustrophobia and Friendship." Frankly, it'd be hard to find a less interesting combination. Did the filmmakers get this whole feature film business backwards and conceive of going straight to video as a goal?

I don't usually do this, but I'm offering my services to these filmmakers. I came up with some alternate titles that are far, far superior to "Love and Basketball" and hell, they just make more sense. I urge them to change the title and send me a check for $10,000. Here they are:

Penetrating the Hole
Driving the Lane
Blew by Her
Boxing Out My Love
Round Mounds of Rebound
Dunk in My Basket
Dribble My Balls
Phi Slamma Mama
Inside Position
Around the Back & Between the Legs
Up and Back
Bouncin' Deep in the Paint

...and my favorite: Baby Got Backboard

And incidentally, filmmakers, while you're changing stuff, get rid of all the music prior to or during all the love scenes between Quincy McCall (Omar Epps) and Monica Wright (Sanaa Lathan). Every time they even glance at each other, the film turns into an episode of "Soul Train." I understand that when people kiss they like each other. I don't need "You Light Up My Life" to clue me into that. And think about ditching Tyra Banks and putting an ugly chick in her place because once Quincy starts boning Tyra he isn't going back to Monica no matter what her moves are.

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