If Lucy Fell

Bomb Rating: 

First, this movie tries to bribe us into thinking that Lucy (Sarah Jessica Parker) and Joe (Eric Schaeffer) have been friends since college and are living together, but neither of them has ever thought for one single second that they might be in love with each other. Okay, fine.

But it gets worse. Joe has the opportunity to sleep with Elle McPherson and declines because of some inexplicable ethical dilemma. It's a choice analogous to having to decide between sawing your leg off with a dull butter knife and eating ice cream and Joe chooses to saw his leg off. At this point in the movie, the men in the audience whose heads didn't explode got into a really ugly Raisinets fight.

Joe is lucky that he managed to get in a room with a human female, much less Elle McPherson. Joe should have been praising god if Elle had decided to urinate on him. Meanwhile, poor Lucy is stuck with Bwick (Ben Stiller), a new-age artist with the brain of a house fly and the hair of Bob Marley. Anyone see the disparity here?

To make up for the ridiculous plot, director Shaeffer follows practically every sequence with a clever rock ballad, placing "If Lucy Fell" with the other hundred or so recently released films where "young, talented directors" end up making extended music videos with stories culled from bad romance novels.

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