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One of Tom Cruise's pupils quickly drops him when he discovers "Star Trek" and suddenly has no interest in getting laid. He changes his name to Spock. We shall hear more from him later.
Julianne Moore soon becomes involved with President Donald Trump until he realizes she's a little too old for him. Eventually, he dumps her for the Olson Twins, and she becomes attracted to Sandra Bernhardt who has her eyes on Paula Cole who has her eyes on Sarah McGlachlan... who's only interested in her music. The three go on "Springer" to confess their secret crushes.
The Springer Show is interrupted to bring the special news bulletin that they're expecting a bad rain storm. It won't rain raindrops or frogs but rather cats and dogs! The entire cast then starts to lipsync the old disco classic "It's Raining Men". A now-65-year-old Boy Genius is watching this in a bar and starts to brag he was once a guest on the Springer Show---it was a show about former child stars and their angst.
Boy Genius stumbles into a nightclub where he tries to use that Springer Show stuff as a pickup line. The only person who finds it even remotely interesting is Spock. He and Spock decide to lock brains and write an episode of "Star Trek: Deep Space Nine" together not realizing it's been cancelled!
Tom Cruise's character soon meets up with Martha Stewart and falls in love. They get married. She confesses that she's fantasised about another man. Tom can't handle and storms out just as the storm starts brewing. A giant pitball falls from the sky, chases Tom through the streets of New York (though none of the settings look like New York) passing by hookers and other sexual misfits before it finally catches up to him and kills him.
Boy Genius and Spock find out "Star Trek"'s off the air and kill themselves. Julianne starts to say that it's all "The Jerry Springer Show"'s fault.
Soon, the storm stops. No more raining cats and dogs. We see a bunch of Chinese restaurant owners scraping the cats and dogs off the road to cook them!
Jerry Springer leaves us with his final thought: "Cats and dogs taste good. Moses would have liked them. Now, be good to eachother."
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