FROM THE JOURNALS OF RICHARD B. BERNSTEIN, THE ACADEMIC DETECTIVE:
We crossed the New Hampshire border an hour before dawn. Wulfgar was busy polishing his sword, Ms. Phan, "Ken" and Wulfgar's "cats" were asleep...and snoring. Zero was locked into a meditative exercise with Lady Eboshi, and Princess and Ivan were a few miles ahead of us in Ms. Phan's Jag (or, as I was able to gather, the Jag that actually belonged to one of her operatives).
The dashboard of the van lit up like a Christmas tree. Wulfgar sat bolt upright, scowling.
"Jaysus Fookin' Christ! That's more lights lit up at once on the Law Enforcement Recognition System than I've ever seen before-it only lacks Military, Coast Guard, and Girl Scouts..."
I was not comforted by this in the least. "What the fuck does that mean, goddammit?!?" I cursed at him.
"It means that we're likely to be shitters-deep in almost any number of police, bounty-hunters and government agents any second naow. They're ahead of us, by these readings..."
"Ahead of us? Oh, GOD. Princess and Ivan-"
"Damme all tae HELL!!!"
Wulfgar grabbed a secure cellphone, and threw it to me. "Warn her. You ken her number-"
The phone vibrated in my hands, before I could punch in the number-I took a chance and answered it.
"Hello?"
"Richard."-It was Princess. Her voice sent a surge of hope through me-"Ivan and I have encountered some...obstacles. Get the hell off the road. NOW. Ivan and I will deal with them-"
"Goddammit, we can be there in-"
"No, Richard"-her voice cracked a little-"that won't work at all. This thing's bulletproof, is faster than anything else on the road, and-and you have a mission to carry out. Even if we get caught, I have some influence. Knowing where the right bodies are buried tends to empower you."
"You can't do this! You'll be-"
She cut me off-"We'll be all right. Don't make this any harder than it is."
"I-"
"I love you, Richard."
The phone went dead in my hands. As it cut out, I heard the big Russian curse, the sound of ricocheting bullets, and the engine of the Jag roaring. I threw it away from me as though it were a poisonous serpent.
"They'll be all right, Richard-"
"Like HELL!!! We're going after them!"
"Nay, tha' we'll no' be doin'. We have a chance to elude the authorities, if we take it. If we go after them, that renders their sacrifice pointless. They may still get away. According to the maps in th' on-board, and the readings on th' LERS, here, we can avoid the situation. If I ken her rightly, she'll lead 'em a merry chase."
"You cold-blooded BASTARD. We're going after them. I MEAN it." Before I knew what I was doing, I had mehitabel in my hand, pointed dead-center at the back of Wulfgar's head. He glanced up at the rear-view mirror.
"You'd best be prepared to kill me, Sword-Brother. Tha's what it'll take. She's a professional, an' she knows th' score. We have tae take th' opportunity-"
An explosion, then another, and another, lit up the early-morning sky ahead of us. The van skidded to a halt.
"Oh, FOOKIN' HELL...that was a Czech RPG-75!"
"No, Brother, I believe that it was a Finnish M-55 Recoilless..."-commented Zero.
I was struck dumb-the woman that I loved could be dead, and they were debating what it was that may have killed her. When I found my voice again, it was rising on volume and fury.
"I have had ENOUGH. Let me off of this psychotic merry-go-round. NOW-"
I raised my gun, and felt a soft touch at the back of my head. The lights went out as the floor of the van rose to meet me...
(To Be Continued)
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