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CRANKYLAND HALLOWEEN SPECIAL
PART FIVE
I cannot recall another time in my entire life where I had been more frightened. We all stared at Ender in terror and dread.
Then...he spoke.
"whom sent youm?"
I attempted to speak, but I was mute with terror. Redundant cleared his throat.
"Um...Crankyland is under attack," Red replied. "We're just...hiding."
Ender said,
"wombats
running from
badger Grundula
und choon badger vampires
und hide out
in my cave hole
yes?"
My voice returned, albeit in a squeak. "Yes." He advanced upon us, and we all cringed. Ender looked confused.
"youm look
very choon
und spooked.
ender confuzzed
why?"
He took another step towards us, and pRoDiGy began to scream.
"NOOOOO!!!!!! PLEASE, PLEASE, PLEASE DON'T KILL US!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" she screeched hysterically, clinging to Captain Smith. Ender, cocking his cloaked head to one side, said,
"slark youm?
ender do not slark,
especially little moo's
like youm
see?"
"YOU KILLED CHICA!!!!!!!!!!" Em shouted. "You kidnapped her and slaughtered her. You are a disgusting creature."
Ender said,
"chica?
little moo?
why,
chica here wit youm und I
see?"
He gestured to the side behind him, and Red cautiously shined his flashlight at where Ender was pointing. There, appeared another cloaked figure, about a foot shorter than Ender. It strolled towards us, then pulled back its hood. It indeed was Chica, only her short brown hair was down to her waist, and the peaceful, contented look on her face took our breath away.
Chica said,
"greetings
to my
froopty friends.
i am not dead
but alive.
life be plinky.
see?"
We stared at them both in absolute astonishment.
"But...if you're alive...," Drew said. "Then whose...things were those in the river?"
Chica replied,
"Ah.
wombat hiker find
viscera in swimming hole
thinks it I
yes?"
"Well...all your stuff was by the stream," Emerald said.
Ender chimed in,
"choon badger
mickieT
attack little moo
drawing water
by swimming hole.
he was much choon.
ender hate slark
but mickieT
pull out grimpy stick
to spear little wombat.
chica is plinky
even froopty.
ender blow choon badger
in little pieces.
ender have no choice.
see?"
We were silent as we pondered what had just been said.
"Well...yes, you could say that. You were merely defending her," Red replied. "But why did you kidnap her?"
Ender replied,
"ender see
much knowledge
in little moo.
she be free to leave
when she choose
but
she like cave
und simplex life.
yes?"
Chica smiled over at him, and replied,
"yes.
chica like cave
und simplex life.
i be plinky
and froopty
with pie and moocow juice
to chomp.
Chica like youm."
We felt horrible as we realized how terribly mistaken we had been all along. Not only was Ender_666 NOT an evil murderer, he had saved her life from one of Crankyland's most vicious, contemptible, and thankfully, now dead, trolls.
Ender said,
"would
spooked wombats
care to join
for pie und
moocow juice?"
Feeling extremely remorseful, we nodded.
Chica said,
"come down
to secret lair
und be safe
from choon Grundula.
yes?"
And with that, Chica and Ender turned around to head further down in the cave, and we followed. We presently came upon a cozy little living room, painted sky blue, with a big fluffy white sofa. We sat down on it, and felt as if we had died and gone to heaven. It was the softest sitting place I had ever experienced in my life. Ender waved a hand, and a plate of pie appeared in our laps, with forks in our hands. Chica waved a hand, and we each had a tall, cold glass of milk. Both were phenomenally good, and we eagerly wolfed down the pie and gulped the milk.
"More?" Chica offered. We nodded fervently, and our plates and glasses were instantly replenished. She exchanged a look with Ender, and they smiled peacefully as we cleared our plates and drained our glasses.
After finishing our seconds, Ender spoke again.
"ender and chica
have un plan
to save the students
youm want
to see?"
"Um...yeh, doesn't that, like, involve stakes in the heart and stuff?" Drew said. "That knowledge is quite well-known, you know."
Chica replied,
"un ordinary
grimpy stick
will not slark
the badger vampires.
youm must have
un grimpy stick
of logic,
and truth.
see?"
She then waved her hand, and a pile of wooden stakes appeared between us. I picked one up, and we all looked it over. It was painted white with purple stripes, and one side read, "Facts," while the other side read, "Logic."
"How bloody appropriate," Captain Smith remarked.
Ender said,
"Youm take
these grimpy sticks
in un back bag
und go back
see?"
"Um…sure," I said hesitantly. "But there's just one problem...they're everywhere. And they know we're still somewhere in the woods."
Chica answered,
"ah, but we have key.
youm take secret passage
to pyre
und slark badger vampires."
She paused, then, smiling, she asked,
"chica und ender know
of un secret to help youm.
See?"
She raised her hand over her head, and rubbed her fingers together. A fluorescent substance sprinkled onto her long hair, and she slowly rose from the ground, giggling.
"Plinky, yes?" she smiled.
"Veeeerrrrrry plinky," Em replied, fascinated as we all were.
"How do we get this stuff?" pRoDiGy inquired.
Ender said,
"stoop,
und we splash on.
you just think, 'fly,'
when you require.
see?"
We nodded, and bent our heads down as Chica and Ender sprinkled their glowing powder on them. It felt tingly, like how lemonade feels on your tastebuds.
Chica said,
"now think,
'fly,'
und do.
See?"
I shut my eyes tight, and thought. Fly, I chanted to myself, fly, fly, fly, fly. Suddenly, feeling a bit epithelial, I opened my eyes, and giggled with glee. We were all floating around the enormous living room. Redundant, smirking, reached over and grabbed my BOTTOMSIES.
"Damn you, Red, you never miss a chance, do ya?" I laughed.
"Nope," he grinned. We slowly floated our way back down. Ender waved a hand, and a backpack appeared on each of our shoulders.
Ender said,
"take back bags
und grimpy sticks.
force be with you
yes?"
We nodded, eternally grateful for their hospitality. We followed Ender and Chica out of the living room as we headed down a long hallway that would lead us back to the Bonfire. As we walked, Red suddenly stopped me and turned me to face him.
"Violet, I've got something to say to you," he blurted.
"What? That we're not in Kansas anymore?" I teased.
"No, dipshit," he retorted with a grin, then grew serious again. "I'm worried. This is going to be one hell of a battle. There's a possibility that we all may be killed."
"Yeh," I agreed.
"With that in mind...gosh, I don't know..." he faltered.
"What? What is it?"
"Gosh, Vi, if anything happened to you...I don't know what I'd do..."
"Yeah, me too," I said softly.
He hugged me tight then, and I hugged him back.
"Just be careful...be careful out there...," he whispered. "I care for you so much..."
"So do I..." I whispered back. We quickly kissed, then ran to catch up with the rest of the groups on the battle march.
TO BE CONTINUED...
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