The Matrix Revolutions
Little did bewildered "Matrix" fans realize that when the Architect began yapping like William Safire at a lexicographers conference about the puzzle of the Matrix in "The Matrix Reloaded" that his five-minute incomprehensible polysyllabic diatribe would form the entire infuriating basis for "The Matrix Revolutions." This movie celebrates plot detail like a speed-addicted adjunct creative writing professor at Beavis Community College.
Neo (Keanu Reeves) is stuck in some ridiculous middle world between the Matrix and the real world. Morpheus (Laurence Fishburne) and Trinity (Carrie-Anne Moss) visit The Oracle (Mary Alice) and get some silly explanation about why she looks different. Meanwhile, the machines are digging their way to Zion to destroy the place and, presumably, put a stop to all the incessant dancing that goes on down there.
If it wasn't already clear that Neo is the Wachowski brothers' Christ figure, it becomes painfully so here. In fact, I heard the Lord's name invoked many times during the course of this film as increasingly frustrated audience members begged aloud for some action.
The third installment of "The Lord of the Rings" could match this for disappointment only if Frodo stops mid-quest to perform an impromptu karaoke set to the greatest hits of ABBA. The "Revolutions" finale, wherein Zion is defended, looks like something I once saw at the local planetarium's Pink Floyd laser show. The final battle between Neo and Smith is more anti-climactic than a Florida election.
"The Matrix Revolutions" is nothing more than a failed coup.
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