It boggles the mind to think that somebody wrote this script, somebody else read it, some executive at Disney greenlighted it for production and then it actually got made. It's about two goofball surfers from Hawaii, Phil and Stew Deedle (Paul Walker and Steve Van Wormer), who must stop a prairie dog infestation and an evil former Park Ranger, Frank Slater (Dennis Hopper), from shutting down Old Faithful. Plot or not?

It would be one thing if more directors and writers were women and we could therefore assume that the male studio executives were simply stocking up on their sex-for-financing chips, but Hollywood is all dudes. It's the land of the good-ol'-boy hand job, where desperate and not-so-desperate filmmakers suggest a plunge through the button-fly as casually as they might suggest a sit-down for some coffee and snack cakes.

I just cannot conceive any other explanation for "Meet the Deedles." It's like the story is a remnant from one of those old Radio Shack TRS-80 plot programs or some uncreative fill-ins on a bad Mad Lib.

I can understand two losers like Paul Walker and Steve Van Wormer taking these roles, but what is Dennis Hopper doing here? Doesn't he have better things to do? It's just one more example of one of our nation's most tragic news stories: What happens to guys when they stop smoking ganja and move on to harder things. Hey, if it's "Meet the Deedles" or LSD psychosis, I'll take psychosis any day.