In "Notting Hill," he met Julia Roberts and was utterly confused and didn't know what to do. In "Nine Months," Julianne Moore got pregnant and Hugh was utterly confused and didn't know what to do. In "Sense and Sensibility," he fell in love with Emma Thompson, but became utterly confused, and didn't know what to do. In "Extreme Measures" something fishy is going on at Hugh's hospital. Naturally, he's utterly confused and doesn't know what to do... except perhaps to go cruise a few hookers while he thinks about it. Am I missing something?

In "Mickey Blue Eyes," Hugh's character, Michael Felgate, asks girlfriend Gina (Jeanne Tripplehorn) to marry him, but she says no. At this point -- try and stay with me, here -- Hugh becomes utterly confused and doesn't know what to do, so he finds her father, Frank (James Caan). It turns out Frank and the entire family are Mafia. Soon after Gina accepts Michael's proposal, her family starts doing him favors, like making sure shipments show up on time at his auction house. Then he's asked to do the family a favor. I think that's where I fell asleep.

Speaking of predictable, just how long is Hollywood going to go on forming entire movies around idiosyncratic Mafia stereotypes? I see another Roberto Benigni film coming on, and the world just doesn't need that. Ultimately, the flaws inherent to the concept of Hugh Grant being confused by the Mafia give the ending away. Comedies end happily, yet director Kelly ("Brain Candy: Kids in the Hall") Makin tries desperately to convince us of potential tragedy. It rings about as true as Hugh Grant playing someone lucid.