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Now you understand, ken. Now you know just what the hell is going on in this country. It’s the cosmetics companies who are sapping our strength, and polluting our precious bodily fluids.
It’s a Goddamn commie plot foisted upon us by the left-wing media. They’re the ones who are always pushing cosmetics on us. They’re the ones who are always holding up living Barbie dolls as the epitome of womanhood. They’re the ones who pair ugly-ass male actors with gorgeous women. Have you never noticed how horrible the TV males look? Raymond, on EVERYONE LOVES RAYMOND; the fat guy, on THE KING OF QUEENS; Cosby--well, he fell apart long ago, so he isn’t a fair example. But, you get my drift.
Everyone, follow Ken’s advice and take up arms against your local cosmetics company! Charleton Heston and the N.R.A. will be proud of you. And, while you’re pillaging Max Factor, if you happen to come across a sort of bluish red lipstick, save me a couple of gross.
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