The Mighty

Bomb Rating: 

Apparently, Kit Culkin has squandered all the royalties from the luckiest, most improbable run in the history of man -- otherwise known as Macauley Culkin's career -- because he's shoved another of his offspring into the indentured servitude the Culkin family blithely refers to as acting.

Kieran Culkin stars as Kevin Dillon, a young boy with Morquio's Syndrome, in this film about adolescent friendship that's probably going to be best remembered as an answer to one of those SAT analogy questions: "'Antz' is to 'Simon Birch' as 'A Bug's Life' is to _______." Once again, Hollywood proves that inspired film ideas must be tried at least twice (concurrently) to ensure that the talent pool for each is halved, thereby reducing the possibility for the success of either.

Kevin moves to a new neighborhood and becomes friends with Max (Elden Henson), an abnormally large kid whose father murdered his mother. As a result, Max has retreated inward and allows everybody at school to make fun of him. In my day, if you made fun of the largest kid in school he usually took your Scooby Doo lunch box and molded it around your skull, but for the purposes of this drama, Max is a big wussy. Since Kevin's disease debilitates his spine and his ability to walk, he and Max partner. Max carries Kevin around and Kevin provides his unique brand of extroverted intelligence.

Having reached her visible cellulite, post-sag, no-bush-shots phase, Sharon Stone attempts to legitimize her career by playing Kevin's mother in one of those typical big-star, small-part roles that people like Sharon Stone turn to when they're desperate to prove themselves as talented as their publicists claim. "The Mighty" won't do much for Stone who, like the film, proves to be entirely forgettable.

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