The Mirror Has Two Faces

Bomb Rating: 

This is no movie -- it's one long, boring episode of "The Love Boat."

Where the hell are Isaac, Gopher, Julie, Doc and Captain Stubing? This is no movie -- it's one long, boring episode of "The Love Boat."

In this week's episode, two Columbia University professors, Rose Morgan (Streisand) and Gregory Larkin (Jeff Bridges), come aboard the ship. In a discussion with the two, Doc discovers that their marriage is completely platonic. "Well, gosh darn," (television lingo for "holy crap") Doc says. "Wait 'till Gopher hears about this one." Apparently, Greg is tired of sexual relationships and wants to experience a relationship based on something else, such as intellectual attraction. With the help of Isaac and a fancy corkscrew, Doc attempts to perform exploratory surgery on Greg's brain, but discovers that Greg doesn't have one and is only a screenwriter's perception of what a human being might actually be like.

The end of the film looks like something out of a Balley's Fitness Center commercial as Barbra exchanges her Ding Dongs for carrot sticks and baseball-watching for weight lifting. Next thing you know, she's looking like a billion bucks and Greg has an erection so potent he's forced to pack it in ice.

If you are into lots of long, dull conversations that go absolutely nowhere, "The Mirror with Two Faces" might be for you. Case in point: The audience of elderly Barbra fans I saw this movie with seemed completely enthralled throughout -- but then again, they also seemed enthralled by the opening popcorn commercial.

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