Mortal Kombat: Annihilation

Bomb Rating: 

EVERTHING THAT COULD BE LARGER AND LOUDER IN THIS FILM IS, WHICH IS TYPICAL OF SEQUELS THAT KNOW THEY DON'T HAVE ANYTHING TO OFFER OTHER THAN THE TITLE OF A PREVIOUS FILM.

THIS FILM WAS LOUD. HOW LOUD? SO LOUD THAT IN A THX THEATER THE PEOPLE TWO AUDITORIUMS DOWN WATCHING STARSHIP TROOPERS COMPLAINED TO THE MANAGER THAT THEY COULDN'T HEAR.

IN FACT, EVERTHING THAT COULD BE LARGER AND LOUDER IN THIS FILM IS, WHICH IS TYPICAL OF SEQUELS THAT KNOW THEY DON'T HAVE ANYTHING TO OFFER OTHER THAN THE TITLE OF A PREVIOUS FILM. INSTEAD OF MARTIAL ARTS, THIS FILM OFFERS LOTS OF SPECIAL EFFECTS. MOST SPEAKING PARTS ARE REPLACED WITH LOUD, UNENDING MUSIC SEQUENCES.

THE MOST ANNOYING ASPECT OF THIS MOVIE IS THAT THERE IS A MOVIE AT ALL. IN THE ORIGINAL, LIU KANG (ROBIN SHOU) WON THE MORTAL KOMBAT TOURNAMENT AND VANQUISHED THE DEMONS FROM OUTWORLD FOR ANOTHER GENERATION. HOWEVER, IN THIS NEW FILM, THE DEMONS HAVE RETURNED. HOW, YOU ASK? THEY'VE CHEATED AND BROKEN THE SACRED RULES AND THE ELDER GODS DON'T SEEM TO WANT TO DO ANYTHING ABOUT IT.

WHAT KIND OF WEENIE GODS ARE THESE ANYWAY? PERHAPS SOMEBODY FORGOT WHAT EXACTLY CONSTITUTES GODHOOD. USUALLY IT HAS TO DO WITH OMNISCIENCE AND POWER. IT'S PRETTY AMAZING HOW HELPLESS THOSE GODS CAN BECOME WHEN A SEQUEL NEEDS TO BE MADE. I'D ALMOST BE WILLING TO SIT THROUGH ANOTHER ONE OF THESE CRAPPY FILMS IF IT INVOLVED THE GODS GETTING THEIR ASSES THOROUGHLY BEATEN.

To spread the word about this Mortal Kombat: Annihilation review on Twitter.

To get instant updates of Mr. Cranky reviews, subscribe to our RSS feed.
0 Comments

Like This Mortal Kombat: Annihilation Review? Vote it Up.

0

Rate This Movie:

Other Cranky Content You Might Enjoy

  • In terms of tearing this movie apart, I think the most informative thing I can do for my readers is to supply a simple piece of information: On its opening weekend, "Elektra" was bettered at the box-o

  • The new generation of MTV filmmakers has adopted a rather unsound moviemaking premise: "If it's loud it won't suck." So it's no surprise that director Baz ("Strictly Ballroom") Luhrmann's approach to

  • Watching this film will make you thank the gods that you don't live in the 1950's. Holy shit were those people paranoid.