Mr. 3000

Bomb Rating: 

Bernie Mac looks like he'd have a better chance sprouting wings and flying into the sky than he does of hitting a major league baseball pitch. His swing resembles a circus clown trying to chop a piece of wood with an axe that's about ten pounds too heavy.

Much like Kirsten Dunst's tennis in "Wimbledon," Bernie Mac looks like he'd have a better chance sprouting wings and flying into the sky than he does of hitting a major league baseball pitch. His swing resembles a circus clown trying to chop a piece of wood with an axe that's about ten pounds too heavy.

Unfortunately, this doesn't stop anyone from casting him as Stan Ross, a ridiculously selfish player for the Milwaukee Brewers who gets his 3000th hit and immediately quits in the middle of a pennant race. Something like nine years later, as Stan is just about to get into the Hall of Fame, some statisticians discover that Stan got credited for three hits he shouldn't have and is actually three hits short of the magical 3000. In his late 40s, Stan decides to make a comeback to get three more hits and since the Brewers are mired in 5th place, they agree to let him try.

This entire film is designed so that the audience can take some satisfaction from watching Stan learn to not be such a selfish prick. While trying to get his hits, he's humbled the tiniest bit by going on an O-fer streak and watching the team's best player, T-Rex (Brian J. White) behave much like Stan behaved when he was the team's best player. In addition to the baseball, we're treated to Stan's relationship with his best friend, Boca (Michael Rispoli), and with a former flame and ESPN reporter, Mo (Angela Bassett).

Boca hangs around Stan to warm himself off the glow of fame and Mo does much the same, in addition to the supposed great sex (for Mo, that is). Consequently, it's not exactly satisfying when Stan learns to be a team player and these two finally applaud him for not being selfish. Friends of assholes are usually assholes themselves and it's not exactly realistic to think that these two have been hanging around Stan for all these years just waiting for him to see the light.

Predictably, Stan has an epiphany toward the end of the film, but it doesn't make up for watching an annoying character for two hours, much less make up for being an annoying person for more than forty years.

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