Mystery Science Theater 3000: The Movie

Bomb Rating: 

You can perform Mystery Science Theater in your own home. If you can't, go pay to see the movie -- you're a complete idiot.

It's one thing to watch Mystery Science Theater 3000 on television. It's quite another to actually pay money to watch it in a theater. Think about it for just a second: You could be home watching an episode on television for absolutely nothing in your nice, warm house while other people are paying to watch the same thing at the local icy cinemaplex.

Another thing to consider when watching this movie: You're actually paying to listen to somebody else make snide remarks about a bad movie when you yourself could just as easily sit there and make similar comments. If you can make the sound effect of an accelerating car or say the following words: "I think I just farted," you can perform Mystery Science Theater in your own home. If you can't, go pay to see the movie -- you're a complete idiot.

MST3K presents the film "This Island Earth," a 1955 science fiction flick about aliens with white hair and big foreheads. As the robots and the guy sit and talk through the movie, they're no doubt inspiring a generation of unmannered morons to walk into other films and do the same. If you were wondering why the guy behind you was screaming, "Shake them hooters!" during "The Little Mermaid," MST3K probably had something to do with it.

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