The Mummy

Bomb Rating: 

Watching Brendan Fraser and the rest of the cast of "The Mummy" is about as emotionally draining as sitting through a Charlton Heston "guns don't kill teenagers" NRA speech or an updated version of "From Here to Eternity" that casts Tommy Lee in the Burt Lancaster role.

Then again, this is an action film, so who cares? Well, I may not be much of a people person -- I recently started a fund for the "People Who'd Like to Bomb Belgrade with the Stars of the WB" -- yet even I recognize that an action film's success is based largely on not immediately identifying all the characters as wisecracking idiots. Someone on the set is supposed to keep a straight face. This is essentially director Stephen Sommers' problem: All the characters realize they are in a ridiculous story, recognize their place in it and act accordingly.

Rick O'Connell (Brendan Fraser) hooks up with Evelyn (Rachel Weisz) and her smarmy brother Jonathan (John Hannah) and they go searching for the lost Egyptian city of Buttafuocco (or something like that). There, along with Beni (Kevin J. O'Connor) and the party of Americans he's leading, they release the supernatural being Imhotep (Arnold Vosloo), who's got to kill people to regain his humanly form and then sacrifice a woman so he can resurrect his dead girlfriend. Fortunately for him, Evelyn's around -- toned, tanned and primed for sacrifice.

The story is notable only for the fact that it isn't even the slightest bit interesting. Could it be more predictable? Gee, I wonder if the mummy is actually going to take over the world and start a Reign of Undead Horror, or whether he's going to be rebuffed at the last minute by the humble hero.

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