The Music Man

Bomb Rating: 

Just what we need: yet another rendition of "The Music Man," this time with Ferris Bueller in the lead role. Remember when Ferris Bueller was the cool guy? Now with his dorky haircut and inexplicably youthful visage, Matthew Broderick looks like that kid in high school who was always getting his ass kicked. How exactly did this guy manage to marry Sarah Jessica Parker anyway? One imagines he must have a fourteen-inch schlong that burps Celine Dion songs when caressed in the proper manner.

Indeed, "The Music Man" has a number of familiar songs that many folks will instantly recognize: "76 Trombones," "Trouble in River City," "Slip that Flute in My Trumpet," "Tromboner," and um, lots of other tunes that I can whistle but whose titles I can't quite recall.

Professor Harold Hill (Broderick) is a confidence man, a shyster, a hoodlum, and he shows up in River City to create excitement over the formation of a band and bilk the local residents out of their hard-earned cash. One resident who doesn't buy Hill's shtick is Marian the Librarian (Kristin Chenoweth). Since Marian is stacked like a shelf of the Oxford English Dictionary (multi-volume version), Harold is soon won over by her charms, leaving him with a dilemma: Leave the town with the money or stay and face arrest.

In addition to being youthful, Broderick as Harold Hill is stiffer than John Ashcroft at Cheetah's. He exudes all the personality of a brick wall. Oh well, I guess there was a reason this was broadcast on TV.

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