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I was shocked and devastated when I heard THE NEWS. There is little doubt that most of us will remember this monumental event for years, even decades to come. There have been events throughout this century that have left a mark on us all and have helped shape our country and the world. A few come to mind immediately: 1)The United States dropping two atomic bombs on Japan during WWII 2)Man first setting foot on the moon in 1969 3)The invention of Cocoa Puffs
Events like these are the ones that stay with us. We remember them for years, even decades. Who doesn't remember where they were when JFK was assasinated, for instance? These stories leave a permanent mark on us, and we pass them down to future generations. Now another story has landed with all the force of an atomic bomb. Of course, THE NEWS I speak of is the fact that Pamela Anderson Lee has had her breast implants removed.
Many of you, like myself, have to be thinking one thing right now: Implants? Those are implants? Those impossibly round, gravity-defying spheres I've been drooling over for years are not natural? Yes, I know, it's hard to believe. Maybe I should have broke the news more slowly. Still, now that THE NEWS is out, we must accept the truth and move on. I will now allow you all time to recuperate.
Now that you've had some time to ponder these earth-shattering events, I will continue. I find it incredibly ironic that Pammy has decided to do this now. Is she trying to make a statement? After those big, beautiful bags produced a career for her, and made millions of dollars for her, she is going to abandon them. I liken her actions to abandoning a child. You may disagree at first, but just think: those bags have done more for her than any person ever could have done. I suppose now she will emerge as an breast-implant opponent, moving to the front lines to combat the spread of saline everywhere.
How can she do it with a straight face?
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