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...is because I'm a sap. In other words... the only reason I didn't commit suicide when I was cocked and loaded was because I didn't want to hurt the ones that I left behind because inevitably, they would wonder what either they did specifically to cause it or what they could have done to prevent it. When, really, it had nothing to do with them at all.
Every other reason I just chalk up to nothing but fear of a God (that I don't have) or some kind of vehement personal affront to things that society considers "immoral" that some people like to wear as a banner "proving" they're somehow above such thoughts or actions; i.e. "It's cowardly;" "It pisses me off;" and my personal laugh-riot... "Your problems don't just go away."
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