You're asking, would the average American be more bothered by Jack or Will? (of Will and Grace) Most Americans expect gay men to act like Jack, flaming queen, etc. But, most gay men I know are more like Will, subtle, but you can still pick up on it.
I'm going out on a limb here, but I think that straignt men would be more threatened by men like Troy Aikman being gay, precisely because it wouldn't be "obvious" and it would freak them out a little more.
Ok, I'm rambling. I plead 'lack of sleep'.
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