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If you expect me to believe that Lenin's set up shop in that obviously deserted hovel, you've completely destroyed the good opinion I was beginning to form about you, based on your appreciation of superior tailoring. I can see that you're not going to be of any help at all - probably the language barrier, thought somehow I was asking for the public “necessary,” because that's just what this alley looks like.
Why don't we go back to the street and - no, no, I don't want to buy any Russian-made cutlery, either. Yes, I can see that the knife is finely crafted, at least I think it is, given the dim light back in this alley, but the Consulate back in Zurich already has perfectly adequate dinner settings and it would hardly do to waste the funds of His Majesty's Government during times of war.
How dare you threaten me! Just because I've told you in all honesty that I have no interest in your homemade wares - no, I don't have a pocket watch, that bloody light-fingered Carnehan absconded with it, I suspect. Rubles? No, I haven't had the time to change over my Swiss francs with all the confusion on that train and not being allowed to disembark at various points as any civilised person would expect -
Wait a moment - is this a robbery? Rather inept about it, aren't you? I mean, if you had any authentic criminal cunning, you'd already have noticed that shadowy figure creeping up behind you -
What do you mean, you're not falling for that one? Oh. Read it in a novel, did you? Well, it was worth a try. Well, here - take the money and - my suit as well? Not bloody likely! Bad enough to lose to legal confiscation the best men's wardrobe between Brest and Budapest - d'you know, there really is a shadowy figure behind you. Very well, you're free to disbelieve me -
[THWAP!]
Thank God - and thank you, whoever you are, come a bit closer so I can see you properly. I know, it was stupid of me to follow him, but I'm so worried about Miss Carruthers that - Doris! What in God's name are you doing here? And give me that wallet back!
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