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If it hadn't been for me rescuing you out of that cellar, you'd be on the wrong side of the bloody River Styx by now, probably having to borrow the fare from Charon himself, financially insolvent as you usually are! If you hadn't been off drinking arak in Damascus, we wouldn't have had to rush to catch the train and that incompetent guide wouldn't have put us on the wrong one. What were you and that Scots fellow Jones talking about, anyway, that was so bloody important? Holy Grail, my summons to Elsinore.
Look at the map - if we change trains at Dera, we can get on the Palestine line and head back in the correct direction. Why should we ask anyone else for help? I don't have any use for the Turks myself - bloody allies of the Huns - but as long as none of them have bothered us, I see no reason why we can't just quietly stay on board this train until we reach the next junction, then make our switch and leave all this fighting behind.
We shouldn't let Cecily and Gwendolen go wandering about the train, though - let's try to attract as little attention as possible. Why don't you go fetch them, Tristan? Cecily's been a bit - difficult - since we left St. Petersburg. I've tried to tell her that her inadvertent episode of public intoxication hasn't changed my feelings for her - I don't think so, anyway - but I think she resents having left her employment with that bloody Lenin. Did you see him at the station as we were leaving? Tried to disguise himself, but I recognised those shifty eyes - lucky for him we were called away. Handed Cecily twelve rubles' worth of salary like a tip - bloody nerve.
Tristan - look at those horsemen out there by the track. Arabs, by the look of them. Why do you suppose they have their fingers in their ears like that?
[BA-ROOM!]
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