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I didn’t say it was funny. I said it was real.
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Discord: So did you email your resume to everyone yet?
Gdog: I don't even have a resume yet.
Discord: Well, you can't email that. Dear Sirs,...Well, Thanks anyway.
Gdog: Work experience: Got to drive the big truck. Put up with manager's shit all day.
Discord: My recommendation: lie. Tell them that you spent some "time abroad" Be mysterious. Keep dropping hints about how you have worked in covert ops over seas.
Gdog: That's a good idea. I'd send my resume to the CIA, but I figure they've already got a dossier on me. If they want me they know where to look.
Discord: They already have your resume. They're the CIA for Christ's sake.
Gdog: Shit, maybe I should ask them to send me my resume. It would save me the time of writing one of my own.
Discord: They'll deny they have anything. They're the CIA. They deny everything. I asked them if they were aware of the nuclear testing in India. They denied any knowledge of it.
Gdog: Denied knowledge of India? Or the testing?
Discord: Both.
Gdog: Or did they deny that knowledge is possible?
Discord: Those crazy CIA's. Bread is sacred. Breadsticks are not. So, are you gonna respond to RBB in Blade?
Gdog: What did he say?
Discord: He said you do believe in the past before you were born. He also said you're 40.
Gdog: That guy’s got a good memory.
Discord: You’re not 40 something.
Gdog: Then why did I say I was?
Discord: How about starting with your name, title, position in Parliament and number of wives.
Gdog: What is my objective, keeping in mind that world domination is not an option.
Discord: Why isn't it an option? Your objective is to help promote the firm through excessive dedication and honest commitment.
Gdog: So... lying and cheating then.
Discord: It's all about lying and cheating.
Gdog: Have I ever won any awards?
Discord: Sure. Most likely to wait ten years to graduate from college. Most sure that if you get exposed to a vacuum, you'll explode into pink dust.
Gdog: Most sure that Discord has no cock.
Discord: I think you won that award twice.
Gdog: What would you call my job title when I was loading trucks at Godfrey?
Discord: Executive Loading Supervisor.
Gdog: That’s pretty good.
Discord: Right. Why not must Mexican supervisor? Inject a little honesty.
Gdog: This is a resume, not a confession. Have I ever volunteered for anything?
Discord: Asshole inspection.
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