Notorious

Bomb Rating: 

There are few figures in the music business who inspire the same level of revulsion as Sean ‘Puffy’ Combs.

Notorious

There are few figures in the music business who inspire the same level of revulsion as Sean ‘Puffy’ Combs, the producer and recording industry maven who introduced rapper the Notorious B.I.G. to the world and then rode him through life, death and countless profitable resurrections.  He jump-started his own lackluster rap career by insinuating himself into tracks recorded by the hip-hop megastar and then sold millions of copies of his own ‘tribute’ to B.I.G after the legend had been slain at the tender age of 24. 

It is no surprise, then, that the film ‘Notorious’, which proclaims to be a biopic telling the life of the young rap impresario is little more than yet another masturbatory venture from Combs intended to continue the beatification of his long-dead cash cow.  Puff Daddy, Puffy, P. Diddy, whatever ridiculous moniker is currently tickling his fancy is the master of self-promotion and as such this uninspired, Lifetime-movie-of-the-week re-telling of Christopher ‘Biggie Smalls’ Wallace’s rise from the streets to hip-hop royalty is crammed full of vignettes showcasing his own role in Biggie’s career. 

Combs, who executive produced this tedious film presents himself as some kind of messiah, a cult of personality figure who not only promises the Notorious one that together they will ‘change the world’, but also joins him onstage for ridiculous karaoke renditions of the rapper’s hit tracks.  I guess in a sense they did change the world, paving the way for endless MTV reality shows focusing on ‘artists’ even less talented than Combs getting raked over the coals for not ‘being real’ enough to suck his platinum-encrusted dick for the duration of the series. 

These musical interludes are amongst the film’s weakest moments.  Sadly, the rapper cast as Wallace cannot hold a candle to Biggie’s stage presence or rhyme flow, no matter how many fatburgers he wolfed down while bulking up for the role like some kind of ghetto DeNiro method actor.  Lil’ Kim, B.I.G.’s consort was reportedly critical of her portrayal in the film, which is bizarre considering that increasing her screen time would have meant an NC-17 rating due to an even greater degree of nudity and the requisite microphone penetration scenes.  If you have ever wondered what it would be like to watch a midget ride a 400-lb man to orgasm, then Notorious is definitely the film for you. 

Notorious fails to delve into any particular moral evaluation or deeper meaning behind the slaying of Christopher Wallace, with the facts of his life paraded in front the audience like a rote presentation being given by a 6th grade social studies student.  Like P. Diddy, style is favored over substance and the fact that viewers are left feeling absolutely nothing after watching a promising young man gunned down in the prime of his life is telling indeed.  I can hardly wait for the DVD which will no doubt contain at least 10 ‘remixed’ versions of the film where all of the actors are digitally replaced by Combs and all of the dialogue is sampled from a much better movie like Spartacus or Honey, I Shrunk The Kids.

 

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Firsties

Anonymous's picture

Fuck you.

So when does Cary carry Ingrid out of the Nazi nest?

FearlessFreep's picture

Hitchcock rules!

 

Interesting........

Nuke_Mecca's picture

....as in interesting how the review exposes Piss Diddy's role as executive-producer-succubus to the dead. Fuck rap music.

fuck that shit yo that movie

Anonymous's picture

fuck that shit yo that movie was bomb. obviously nobody can be biggie so how the fuck could u expect this guy to be the perfect portrayal of him? i think its pretty obvious u dont care for diddy either, which i can agree with aside from a few tracks and the comfortable ass boxers his clothing company makes i dont care much for him either. however, you're a retard for giving this movie a substantially lower rating than it deserves.

Yo, homie

Anonymous's picture

Word.

Here's a 'word' for ya

Nuke_Mecca's picture

Fuck you, gangsta faggsta

what has "gangsta rap" actually done...

Anonymous's picture

...aside from robbing young black men and women of their lives, long before their time. The glorification of figures like tupac, biggie smalls and Easy E. simply because they were unfortunate enough to die, is an irrational hero worship. where martin L. king and malcom x affected strong political change in america during their day, What has Biggie actually done aside from objectifying women, encouraging the sale of narcotics and brag about people he may or may not have shot in his lifetime? I quote, "we can't change the world unless we change ourselves." he changed neither. Eric Wright (aka easy e.) affected far more change by changing the level of tolerance for explicit lyrics. Tupac affected change by reinvigorating black america's view of white people as the Devil (good or bad; at least he did something.) What did Biggie do aside from co/produce gangster rap and ultimately get shot?

Its funni how , they made

Yvonne's picture

Its funni how , they made pac into some nutcase, its out of order, the film was just a lil bit fake to me. they tried to make biggie into a saint , and we all know that he was not. At least in tupac resurection he manged to be honest and tell everything like it is. It seemed far to inocent on biggies behalf, i really want them to make a tupac movie, but in their own time and not in a rush like they did this one.!!!

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