Bomb Rating: 

Gregg Araki movies are the type of films jeered not just by critics, but also by drunken teenagers, prison inmates and medicated zoo animals. They're so bad, so pointless, that at best they're a never-ending exercise in trying to figure out what financier thought giving this guy money to make films was a good idea.

This is Araki's third film following "Totally F***ed Up" and "The Doom Generation." Again Araki chronicles what he would describe as "the postmodern condition of the '90s American teenager" and what the rest of us would call "the aimless pondering of a talentless sack of excrement." Araki's protagonist is Dark (James Duval). Dark has a girlfriend but also has feelings for a male friend. A large, imaginary alien lizard that Dark believes is abducting people makes it a foursome. Since Dark and friends all live in Los Angeles, none of this seems particularly novel.

What's given this film some word-of-mouth is the number of "names" appearing in it. Christina Applegate has a fairly large role, and there are cameos by a variety of other loser actors such as Beverly D'Angelo, David Leisure, Rose McGowan, Shannon Doherty, Traci Lords, Eve Plumb, Christopher Knight and Lauren Tewes.

If you want to go make your own Gregg Araki movie there really are only a couple of things you need to do. First, don't pay any attention to narrative -- all your characters should just wander around as though it were any other afternoon. Secondly, make sure everything your characters say is as pointless as the story you're trying to tell. Place an emphasis on random cursing -- phrases like "eat my suck" and "lick my hole" are good. Show people using the toilet every chance you get. Congratulations, you're now a hip filmmaker just like Gregg Araki.

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