Ocean's Eleven

Bomb Rating: 

Frankly, for all this movie amounted to, I might as well have spent my two hours watching these "actors" play croquet.

This movie stars George Clooney, Julia Roberts, Brad Pitt and Matt Damon, among others. The perplexing thing is that the studio and director Steven Soderbergh are spinning this as a "good" thing. Frankly, for all this movie amounted to, I might as well have spent my two hours watching these "actors" play croquet -- if there were some chance of George Clooney taking Brad Pitt's eye out with an errant attack shot, then I'd in fact prefer the croquet.

How is this movie any different than watching them play croquet? It's not like they're acting in this thing. Nobody in the theater is contemplating the realism of Clooney's portrayal of ex-con Danny Ocean or Julia Roberts' Tess Ocean (his ex-wife). They're all just there being themselves, screaming to the world that they're having fun, horsing around, being buddies.

The thing is, I don't go to movies to watch millionaire actors have fun. Like my boss tells me when I sit at my desk and surf porn sites: "Do your damn job!" Nobody wanted to watch Pamela Anderson or Tommy Lee act, either, which is why they upped the ante by making that honeymoon screwing tape. That Steven Soderbergh got hauled into this mess is somebody's attempt to make this look like a credible effort. It's a heist picture based on a 1960 movie of the same name that starred Frank Sinatra, Dean Martin, Sammy Davis, Jr., Peter Lawford, and Angie Dickinson.

Right after Danny Ocean gets out of jail, he hooks up with his best bud Rusty (Pitt) and plans the biggest robbery in Las Vegas history. Their plan is to knock over the safe under the Bellagio. That hotel happens to be run by Harry Benedict (Andy Garcia), who's now dating Ocean's ex-wife. Just a thought, but if Benedict were really as careful as the film portrays him, wouldn't he check out the fact that he's dating the ex-wife of an ex-con who's a skilled thief? Ocean's crew includes Don Cheadle (sporting a British accent to remind us that Guy Ritchie does this genre better), Carl Reiner, Scott Caan, Casey Affleck, a computer geek, and a very small Chinese man.

I guess we're supposed to wonder if Danny Ocean and friends will actually pull this heist off, but I never did do much wondering, seeing how there are no complications in the movie. Anything remotely technical is glossed over, and everything the Ocean's Eleven does always works. In the end, "Ocean's Eleven" is far more focused on the actors' entertainment than on the audience's.

To spread the word about this Ocean's Eleven review on Twitter.

To get instant updates of Mr. Cranky reviews, subscribe to our RSS feed.
1 Comment

Like This Ocean's Eleven Review? Vote it Up.

1

Rate This Movie:

Average: 1.5 (2 votes)

Other Cranky Content You Might Enjoy

  • Something very unsettling happens toward the end of "Ocean's Twelve," the follow-up to director Steven Soderbergh's remake of the Rat Pack film "Ocean's Eleven." It's likely that if I reveal exactly w

  • I don't understand this title at all. Beth (Michelle Pfeiffer) and Pat(Treat Williams) and their kids live in Chicago for most of the movie.

  • It's downright sad how similar this film is to "The Recruit." I mean, for the first 20 minutes I'm thinking, "This is just like the fiasco with 'Ants' and 'A Bug's Life'' 'Dante's Peak' and 'Volcano',

Ocean's Flat

gamerarocks's picture

the rest of the characters were well done aside from those two.

One out of four people is freakishly stupid. If three of your friends are normal, then it's you.

 

Comment viewing options

Select your preferred way to display the comments and click "Save settings" to activate your changes.