"The Omen" is the first film that I've seen to replay the footage of the World Trade Center collapsing. According to the mythology of the film, the collapse is one of the signs of Armageddon, along with Hurricane Katrina, the war in Iraq, and the marriage of Tom and Katie.

After his child is supposedly stillborn, grieving father Robert Thorn (Liev Schreiber) agrees to take another child in his place in order to placate a potentially devastated mother, his wife, Katherine (Julia Stiles). Now, personally, this doesn't exactly strike me as a great relationship-builder. "Hey, our child died, but I substituted another in his place and didn't bother telling you because I just love you so much." Does this seem like bad writing to anyone else? Guess what? "The Omen" was written by David Seltzer, the man responsible for writing "Shining Through," one of the worst films of all time.

Anyway, the kid grows up to be the utterly catatonic Damien (Seamus Davey-Fitzpatrick). Perhaps this child actor has some talent, but I suspect that director John Moore just told him to stand there and look creepy. This grows old quickly. Can you imagine what the six-year-old spawn of Satan would be like after he discovered his powers? Anytime he didn't get what he wanted, some Power Ranger would fly across the room and impale somebody.

Mrs. Baylock (Mia Farrow) shows up to protect Damien, bringing along a very mean dog. Miraculously, this doesn't get her fired. I think if my nanny decided to bring home a Rottweiler one day, I'd kick her out on the street, not just pretend I didn't see it. Father Brennan (Pete Postlethwaite) and local London photographer Keith Jennings (David Thewlis) show up to convince Thorn that his son is evil. Thorn has moved up in the political world, become an ambassador and moved from Rome to London.

Of course, it takes a lot to convince Thorn that this child is Satan's spawn, which I really don't get, since people seem to be dying wherever he goes. And speaking of dim parents, if Satan is so damn powerful, why does he put all his hopes of world domination into the little tyke in the first place? I mean, you're basically all-powerful and you're counting on a six-year-old to rule the world?

Sounds like a cosmic joke to me.