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Be an asshole. Go nuts. Have fun. Blurt whatever bizarre shit comes to your mind. Fuck with their heads a little. Worst case scenario is that you give 'em an entertaining story to tell at the end of the day.
My three favorites so far have been:
1) A cop called trying to sell me tickets to some police charity ball. I put on this "old man" voice, trying to sound like a crochety old fart, and I started asking him why he gave me that speeding ticket. He got all confused, and started insisting that he never gave me a ticket, that he wasn't even liscened to write tickets yet. Just worked a desk job, I guess. Anyways, I kept going on and on--"Don't lie to me, you bastard. I recognize your voice! You gave me that ticket!"--until he finally hung up on me.
2) A telemarketer called for my mother, and I put on a heavy Cajun accent and starting saying "We ate 'er. We ate 'er for deeeener!" There was this 20-second pause, and then the lady on the other end goes: "Uh, you ate your mother?" I said, "Yes, for deeener! She was guuuuuuut! We ate 'er butt feeeersst!" The telemarketer said--swear to god--"Oh, that's so fucking disgusting," and then she hung up on me.
3) Got another telemarketer call, and I let her ramble on with her whole speil for a couple of minutes, asking her questions, things like that. Every now and then, though, I'd let out a little "Ow!" or "Damn, that hurts!" Finally, she asked me what was wrong. I told her that I had been putting gerbils up my ass when she called and that one of them had gotten sucked up my sphincter when the phone rang, and now he was pissed off and biting me from inside. She didn't really know how to take that. I thought it was pretty damn funny, though.
Anybody else got any good "fuck with the telemarketer" stories?
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