bleah





The Osbournes: The First Season (Uncensored)


Mr. Cranky's rating:
2 Bombs


I guess I'm supposed to think of the Osbournes as real people with real problems because they clean up an abnormally large amount of dog shit.



I guess I'm supposed to think of the Osbournes as real people with real problems because they clean up an abnormally large amount of dog shit. Frankly, I imagine the servants were let loose just preceding the filming of this show because if audiences were witness to some rich family forcing servants to clean up the feces from an army of pets, it simply would have been too much.

This is all to say that "The Osbournes" is very likely nothing more than a marketing ploy. Ozzy mentions on more than a few occasions that he's broke or that money is an issue. I suspect that wife Sharon thought this whole show up to bolster the family's finances (and maximize her shopping opportunities). After all, not only is Ozzy getting a boost from the notoriety, but kids Kellie and Jack get instant careers as well.

Sure, it's funny to watch all the dogs crap on the expensive carpets and to watch Ozzy mumble like some lobotomized lab rat, but what's ultimately offensive about the show is the worship of frivolous wealth. Of course, MTV is no stranger to such things. After all, "Cribs" is pretty much a show that screams in the face of its audience: "LOOK WHAT YOU DON'T HAVE!!" "The Osbournes" is mostly a show about how a family that doesn't deserve to be rich wastes its money. One suspects the Osbourne kids would yell and scream a bit less were they ever taught that not everything and everyone in the world is at their beck and call. Apparently weâre supposed to think their nanny is treated well because she gets to use the word ãfuckä too.

Alas, when one is rich, such is the case. One can abuse every manner of material and person and animal for the amusement and enjoyment of others. What's even more disturbing is that so many people live their fantasy lives vicariously through this sort of dysfunction. As most people are aware, the average person in the United States is massively in debt, carrying huge credit card bills to finance an unsustainable lifestyle. Shows like "The Osbournes" simply reinforce bad behavior. They also establish the unjust nature of the Universe. Money knows no morals or ethics. It simply comes to those who know how to exploit others or trip over some unique way of doing it. Ozzy had already found one. Now, he's got two.

Was it really that bad?
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    Mr. Cranky's DVD Take: All episodes come accompanied with commentary and an Ozzy translator for those who just can't make out what the "Prince of Darkness" is saying. Watching an episode of this show with commentary from the family is like eating dirt covered with mud gravy. There are also interviews, a blooper reel and some other things that do little more than rehash the main parts of the show. Set-top games include "Name That Dookie," which allows the user to match the feces with the dog who laid it. Fun, if you're into that sort of thing. This is a two-disc set.
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