09/05/1999: Rest of the Quiz (Pardon my Fuck Up)

Posted By: Bickle


8. "BECAUSE CRAIG IS CRAIG SO MUST THE STREETS BE FILLED WITH CRAIG (DEATH) AND HUGE DROPS OF LEAD POURED DOWN UPON HER UNTIL SHE WAS DEAD, YET, THE CATS STILL COME OUT AT Night TO MATE AND THE SPARROWS STILL SING IN THE MORNING."

9. "America was never innocent. We popped our cherry on the boat over and looked back with no regrets. You can't ascribe our fall from grace to any single event or set of circumstances. You can't lose what you lacked at conception. Mass market nostalgia gets you hopped up for a past that never existed. Hagiography sanctifies shuck-and-jive politicians and reinvents their expedient gestures as moments of great moral weight. Our continuing narrative line is blurred past truth and hindsight. Only a reckless verisimilitude can set that line straight. The real Trinity of Camelot was Look Good, Kick Ass, Get Laid. Jack Kennedy was the mythological front man for a particularly juicy slice of our history. He talked a slick line and wore a world-class haircut. He was Bill Clinton minus pervasive media scrutiny and a few rolls of flab. Jack got whacked at the optimum moment to assure his sainthood. Lies continue to swirl around his eternal flame. It's time to dislodge his urn and cast light on a few men who attended his accent and facilitated his fall. They were rogue cops and shakedown artists. They were wiretappers and soldier of fortune and faggot lounge entertainers. Had one second of their lives deviated off course, American History would not exist as we know it. It's time to demythologize an era and build a new myth from the gutter to the stars. It's time to embrace bad men and the price they paid to secretly define their time. Here's to them."

10. "The whole conviction of my life now rests upon the belief that loneliness, far from being a rare and curious phenomenon, is the central and inevitable fact of human existence."

11. "How much did you pay for the chunk of his guitar, the one he ruthlessly smashed at the end of the show? And how much will he pay for a brand new guitar, one which he'll ruthlessly smash at the end of another show? And how long will the workers keep building him new ones? As long as their soda cans are red, white and blue ones."

12. "October 23, 1970, was the thirty-fifth anniversery of the murder of Arthur Flegenheimer (alias "The Dutchman," alias "Dutch Schultz"), but this dreary lot has not intention of commemerating that occasion. They are the Knights of Christianity Unified in Faith (the group in Atlantis were called Mauls of Lhuv-Kerapht United for the Truth; see what I mean?) and their president, James J. (Smiling Jim)Treponema, has noted a beared and therefore suspicious young man among the delegates. Such typers were not likely to be KCUF members and might even be dope fiends. Smiling Jim told the Andy Frain ushers to keep a watchful eye on the young man so no "funny business" could occur, and then went to the podium to begin his talk on "Sex Educatio: Communist Trojan Horse in Our Schools." (In Atlantis, it was "Numbers: Nothingarian Squid-Trap in Our Schools." The same drivel eternally.) The bearded young man, who happened to be Simon Moon, adviser to Teenset magazine on Illuminati affairs and instructor in sexual yoga to numerous black young ladies, observed that he was being observed (which made him think of Heisenberg) and settled back in his chair to doodle pentagons on his note pad. Three rows ahead, a crew-cut middle-aged man, who looked like a suburban Conneticut doctor, also settled back comfortably, awaiting his opportunity: the funny business that he and Simon had in mind would be, he hoped, very funny indeed."

13. "The main argument for the official story of the war is our faith that a president of the United States would not do the things suggested here. A president wouldn't hire film directors to tell him what to say and do. Presidents don't manufacture incidents to go to war. A president wouldn't make policy, life-and-death policy, just for the sake of being elected. Our leaders are men who put honor over expedience."

14. "Carter 'Doc' McCoy had left a morning call for six o'clock, and he was reaching for the telephone the moment the night clerk rang. He had always awakened easily and pleasantly; a man with not a regret for the past, and completely confident and self-assured as he faced each new day. Twelve years of prison routine had merely molded his natural tendencies into habit."

15. "There are two kinds of people in this world, my friends. Those with loaded guns, and those who dig."

16. "The fateful question of the human species seems to me to be whether and to what extent the cultural process developed in it will succeed in mastering the derangements of communal life caused by the human instinct of aggression and self-destruction."

17. "Mr. President, I would not rule out the chance to preserve a nucleus of human specimens. It would be quite easy. At the bottom of some of our deeper mine shafts, the radioactivity would never penetrate a mine some thousands of feet deep. And in a matter of weeks sufficient improvements in dwelling space could easily be provided."


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